and i will rise.. on eagle's wings..

moved!

2005-05-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

moveddd. shall abandon this blog. hee.

http://-candyprincess.blogspot.com

xD relink please !

heaven !

2005-05-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

suddenly in the morning something hit my mind.

i cant wait to see heaven !

roads paved with gold; singing everyday; no money problems on how to go to school during the holidays. simply beautiful. and you finally get to see the Creator, the one who died on the cross for you.

just cant wait! *excited*
off for MS. (:

[edit]

back from MS. cindy prayed for me and like talked to me. really woke me up. some things [ie strongholds] are just pulling me away from God's touch; His healing.

sat with tiffy's cg! and some others.. haha too many to name.
had a nice short chat with elizabeth. i didnt recgonise her worx.. bun up her hair !

exciteddd about tml. heard there'll be an exchange of speakers. haha.. ;)

im loving my sundays! [and tml can sleep abit more. hee!]

;let go and let God. (:

collecting thoughts.

2005-05-27T20:45:00.000+08:00

cant collect my tots properly.. sighs. actually alot of things going thru my mind now.
something's coming up. sandra ask me whether i wanna form a prayer grp in sch. budden got one in the morning alr.. duno.
feel like im just dreaming when having good times. why?!
well today.. sold stuff as usual.. sale abit depressing.. haha we had to give alot of discount. blar..
then right.. managed to skip alot of hall sitting.. hee! ms yoges treat me lunch.. sweet of her..

den didnt manage to skip hall sitting for last.. say.. 2hrs of the day.. slept in the hall lo.
came back home, slept like pig.. so fine ally im piggy.. HAHA! xD anw pigs are nicer than sotongs. lalala... -grinzz-

blar. many many things in my mind but i duno how to express it. but im starting to feel small. sighz. feeling.. inferior.. i duno lar.

the happy thing is.. JUNE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE !!! wheee..

[edit]

something impt! hahahaa.. ms yoges say im cute cuz of my blur look.. LOL. xD okay tt's not really impt. ;)

2005-05-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

10 REALLY RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME
01. I LOVE CHURCH! (: that obviously means I love my Sundays plenty!
02. i have one nose, two eyes, one mouth, two ears. hahaha...
03. live in singapore
04. Have plenty of great friends
05. mood swings easily...):
06. i love candyyy
07. cant live without God. (: !
08. i want cash! :D
09. I am a super blessed girl!
10. sleepy girl. haha..

9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
01. NO empty promises!
02. just be sweet. aww.. surely you can do tt ! ;)
03. Be there for me :D and I'll always be there for you too!
04. Be musically inclined, or forget it. :D
05. Tell me that you love me, but mean it with all your heart!
06. Go to the beach with me and enjoy what nature offers
07. Be cheerful!
08. Hug me and make me feel all better! I don't care whatever whenever it is.
09. BUT, OF COURSE, you have to be a Christian (be on fire for him, be God fearing and behave like a christian :D ) in the 1st place before you can even think of winning my percious heart!

8 THINGS I CARRY/WEAR EVERYDAY
01. watch
02. clothes
03. specs
04. hairband/rubberbands
05. ezlink card
05. Wallet
06. some book
07. bag
08. footwear

7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
01. irritating ppl.
02. Big bullies, gangsters - they're nothing but cowards! how sad.
03. err. half of my class guys.
04. money problems.
05. mood swings.
06. too little time at hand
07. dumb lifts.

6 PLACES I'VE VISITED OR INTEND TO
01. Australia
02. Thailand
03. NZ
04. singapore
05. see 04
06. NORTH POLE! (hahah.) lols.

5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
01. tell the world and spread the word that Jesus is real, that we're living in the last days
02. Ensure that everyone I know knows that I love them plenty and pardon for taking them for granted.
03. help out in some 3rd world country to make their lives better
04. kill all irritating guys. hahaha kidding.
05. Make a difference for God

4 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF
01. pests.. like roaches... =x
02. my results.
03. my money.
04. my family.

3 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY
01. breathe
02. Brush my teeth
03. Eat

2 THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO DO NOW
01. thinking of someone
02. be bored.

1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE NOW
01. Jesus ! [and of cuz, all other church peeps.. haha see how much i miss them. LOL. ]

singapore science ctr

2005-05-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

today went to sci ctr.. quite sian lar. haha the same old things. but there's this new one.. chemistry exibition !!!!! -goes nuts- i love chem manz. hee!
yah the whole day quite sian. not feeling well mahz... -_-
then went for CF.. [aka gomad] haha.. it's nice to be back there again. (: had some food and all... they wanted me to lead pnw but i dowan lar.. not prepared.. yea... then finally got sandra to lead and stuff..

yah, so much for taking break from leading. i mean not tt i dun wanna lead but... i think it's outta perspective liaoz.. and im supposed to lead, say first week of term 3? haiiz. i just lost that.. passion? quite pressured lorh.

someone's nick "seconds are first failures" haha. cheem...

i got to know this sec4 girl called tingfang.. she sounds like... him... make me feel abit arkward and weird.. sigh.
on the lighter side,

TML IS THE LAST DAY OF SEM 1 !!! yayys.

cookies and cream. xD

2005-05-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

[[yesterday]]

sold our cookies ! rawk manz... sold ALL and made like... 51dollars?! YAY!
nuff about the good stuff. to the bad. ha
xl was being as dot as ever. throw plastic bags all over me. ha. very fun ah!? dumbo.
then i got my lit and hist results. fail both. chermaine is so gna screw me manz. warragh. haha. who cares abt her screwing anw, it's my FOLKS tt im scared of. brr.
math, 51.. darn bad oso. got freaking LOW results. must work harder! [obviously, those hrs in the lib did nth] =(

today sold brownies. quite good response. went to jingyi's house to bake more cookies but it's a BIG DISASTER. crap. cuz of the raisins. =x
wad else. oh. was so irritated today on the way to compasspoint. then right, i passed by Life bookshop and guess who i saw. jacqueline!! really brightened up my day. i didnt believe my eyes lar. hahahhaa...

mmms. almost late today worz... cuz of the rain. yeah. but thank God.. last min chong in. lol.
tml going sci ctr.. zzz... bought alot of candy. hee!

btw, made my very first layout !! abit out of aglinment.. but will fix it soon. when my mood turns slightly better. ha.

this song has been stuck with my since i walked out of Life.

take me into the holy of holies
take me in by the blood of the Lamb
take me into the holy of holies
take the coal, cleanse my lips
here i am.

happy hyper me. :D

2005-05-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

this is gna be long unless i stop cuz im lazy. =p

to start off, i overslept and tot i was gna be late for service. but i was early! praise God, He made the buses very on time.
worship was nice. mmms. couldnt find my divisional leaders so sat alone and in the end found jul. (: ! was kinda distracted during sermon. ):
then went to cg.. err. the "dearest" lingquan was late? [haha, only tiffy.w. will get the joke] anyways, the first song was much... i duno. bad? firstly the cg duno the song.. secondly i duno WHY my voice was very out of tune in the morning.. thirdly i was very zao xia. and blar lar. haha. in the end lq was teaching the song. then, we didnt sing take all of me cuz he left the chords in the printer. haahaa...
okay. the next few months, worship will be led by the two ldrs. good oso.. a break for me. [think: it's responsible to drop commitments you cant keep for the time being] main purpose is they want to make the worship better first. actually, ~~im terribly disappointed with myself cuz im actually not really ready to lead the cg into His presence, esp for the past month when things had been more trying.~~ [cries] forgive me Lord..
then, had sharing. as usual the reply to "how was your week" is "siann"... blar...
got grilled by div ldr. =x kinda. [haa. we really live up to the name of being the noisiest cg in the div...-_-" got scolded by countless ldrs.. i heard la.]
speedlight. was more focused in sermon. hahahaha... it was so FUN!! we saboed alvin. wanted to stick this paper behind him saying "birthday boy" and make him do stage offering. budden hahah we're v nice ppl so we just stick like.. during normal ushering. but he found out. -_-"
and and and and and yong shu hua finally came back !!!!!! i almost screamed when i saw her manz.. kor oso came back but i didnt get to talk to him much. it was just two hellos. haa.
debrief. HAHAHA... we made alvin stand in the middle of the car porch and sing a bday song to himself. [since he always say we never celebrate his bday........] but he so paiseh la. so WE sang for him. and all the speedlighters in the car porch. haha! and err.. derek's ingenious idea to just get the sandpaper from the matchstick and not the whole box... -_-"!!!
lunch with jul, tiffy, and mandy, joined by wayne later. farnie lunch. as usual. heehee.
went to office with tiffy. was so quiet today. lamed alot with alvin.c. haha! and talked alot with shus. and tiffy. (:
dinner. went to marina sq with family. tt place chged SO MUCH!! i want the old one back manzz.. hurrmph. the view was great from the food court. one day i wanna go town area and take all the pictures i want. esplanade is a great place! and of cuz, VCH.heehee. any one interested?
felt abit out of place cuz wearing formal. lol.

mum and dad wants me to tutor sis for five dollars/hour. siao! i wanted ten but they said no. please lorr... where got so cheap onez...... okay. better than nth but sis will really stretch my patience. goodness. =x

feeling hyperr. whee. next week.. MIA from tampines. going to LEW. yay!

blessed lil gurl.

2005-05-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

just came back from MS...thanks alvin's [dad] for sending me home ! ((:
haha.. was looking for someone who knows how to walk to church... lingquan didnt reply, cindy wasnt going cuz of class chalet, and everyone else was booked up.
then at 3.30pm i rcved a sms from cindy. she's going to MS!! i was so happy.. hahaha...
so we met and went tog... its nice to travel with someone. heh.
reached there, went to look for alvin, janissa and the others.. had dinner.. haha cindy treated me.. thanks cindy! cuz im like.. broke, as usual.
the praise and worship was powerful. actually, the whole service was powerful. the testimony was so funny !
we saw this p6 guy.. serving as a gospelighter. -pengz-..was thinking.. "im 13 why cant i serve?!" hahaa... yeah. we were SO surprised.
then the healing prayer.. haha feel so loved when cindy prayed for my eye, spine and family. so sweet. duno why, but i feel so loved when ppl pray for me..=D

then right, on the car, had to direct alvin's dad. -_-... sorry lar.. but my sense of direction darn bad. [the last time i directed someone, was my cousin and i practically sent him ard the whole sengkang. lol. ] i wanted to say "turn left at the second traffic light".. then i scared he duno which one so i say "the light tt is green now." alvin was like rolling his eyes. HAHA. he was so lame all the way lar.

tml cindy not going church cuz of some wedding. haha. maybe meeting lq for morning service. off to call ppl ! (:

words of wisdom from pris:

every service shdnt be subjected to good/bad.
it's the way your spirit receives it mah
given that the speaker is annointed, prepared, and everything..

;melt away my every longing until i am only Yours..

working

2005-05-21T13:06:00.000+08:00

haha.. got some sorta job for my end year holiday. bookshop auntie say she'll recommend me if they need ppl to sell textbooks and stuff. ;) yay !

thinking of getting one in JUNE too. to kill my time and get some money. but i dun think folks gna let. sighz.

they dun let me go out, dun give me money. so i stay home and they complain i complain tt it's boring.. tsktsk.. so contradiciting..

and i guess, going to school in the hols for choir and stuff.. where do i get transport $ ?!
baa.

and where is chermaine... needa talk to her, now. =x

[edit]

wahhhahahhaa !! dunnit chermaine liaoz.. i just find any of my div ldrs.. all going to woody! wheeeee....

okay, tt doesnt mean im throwing mainey away. where are you?! =p

[another edit]

i wanna be sixteen!! =( haha..

iced.

2005-05-20T19:50:00.000+08:00

argh crap. found my lit book. and i just told the bookshop auntie today to help me print AND bind. -shakes head-. i can really forget about spending next week. totally broke to the max.
anws, class today... dismissed early cuz got sports day. the school hours was really sucky lar. [pardon the lang, grrr] guys are totally idiotic in my class with only a few exeptionals. one talks too much, with darn load of sarcasm. ha. dun want to buy class tee then say so la! no one force you to buy WHAT.
the other one, grr. duno wad word to describe him. he KNOWS my eye swollen and he still use his tie to purposely hit THAT eye. and twice. freak la. it was so painful can. and kicked my table. =(

with ppl like these, how can anyone not go mad in my class?!

ms yoges said the cookies are nice. yay !
after school, went to cwp. once i passed by admirity mrt.. all the memories floooded over me. haha.. happy and sad ones lar. it was really so overwhelming. and when i reached cwp right, it was even MORE overwhelming.. reminded me of street e... hahahs.. i tot of woodyland MS-s, good friday 2003 [okay. all my good fridays since 2003 were really bad] street E.. blabla. wahahahas.
ate at ljs. shared combo one with jeanne.. and the others who cant finish their food all give to us. lol. so nice right.

then went back to school for sports day. manz. wasted 3+hrs of our life. no one was paying attn to the running and stuff. we were sms-ing, sleeping, talking, listening to mp3, running about, buying drinks and snacks. haaa..
dad picked me up! whees.

tml is sat.. hmm. may go woody for MS... see how la.. =)
off for ice cream. =p

[edit]

haha. how can i forget this. got back two of my results today. nth to flaunt about. and the science teacher gave me extra six marks. -_-" thanks ah. haha.

anws, science and chinese, both b4. thank You God! =D

guys are so idiotic and yet so sweet.

2005-05-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

haha. tt's chermaine's line. but i agree with it so much.

on the sweet side, hongyi was SO nice to us [5 girls] today! hahaha.. went to hougang mall to buy some baking stuff to bake cookies as a fund raising effort for my class.. and just nice, he lives ard there.. so we walk walk walk to the baking shop and passed by sweettalk, the bubble tea stall.. nyahahahaha.... he treated us ALL to a cup each. talk about being generous.
then we cont walking to the shop and bought the stuff.. and walked BACK to hougang mall to buy butter [so dumb, they dun carry the butter we needed] went to ntuc. passed the bag of baking stuff to jingyi and hahahah.. jingyi dun wanna carry. so she like "pushed" to hongyi. and he really carried for us lor! heehee... bullying him was so fun manzz... =p
he's very nice, except tt his mind is err.. very corrupted. lol.
we went to shimin's house to bake... we baked the first batch and then beatriz, jeanne and jingyi went home. not enuf stuff, so we went to this shop to buy.. then baked three more batches. left her house at 8.25pm.. wahaha.. so late! and the cookies smell so NICE. ;)

haiiz. didnt go for CF. for err.. a month liaoz? =x.. and somemore i cant make it next week.. bla.. sch's gna end soon. AND i was supposed to lead worship today with sandra.. but realli couldnt make it lar.. sighs.

and the final question is why..

and did i mention, my eyes are swollen, AGAIN. sick of this manz. tml sports day until 5pm.. zzzz

heart of worship

2005-05-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

http://lookingpast-.blogspot.com

posted some stuff there. (:

God has been faithful.. feeling so dry and tired and He shows me verses everyday when i flipped thru the bible.

do not fear, for i am with you. do not be dismayed, for i am your God. -isaiah 41:10

Then when you realise your worthlessness before the Lord, He will lift you up, encourage and help you. -James 4:10.

God can't break his word. And because his word cannot change, the promise is likewise unchangeable. We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. -hebrews 6:18 (message bible)

then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry and He shall say 'here i am' -isaiah 58:9

jesus says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest. -matt 11:30

praise Thee.. (: and i think the message bible phrases verses very beautifully.. so gna buy it. if only, i have the money.

2005-05-17T22:51:00.000+08:00

sadness sweeps in and says : this world is so cruel
but the joy of the Lord comes and say : with God, even the ugliest thing will be made beautiful.

if it doesnt sound right to you, it's okay cuz im just trying to make some sense of this world.

money matters; going extremely broke. can forget about recess for the next eight sch days.
results; prolly this friday.
holidays; next next week !
choir practices; taking up some parts of hols.. err. it's quite okay with me.
choir camp; gna rawk.
saturday; MS at woodyland. [i think]
sunday; leading pnw and im lost. pray pray pray.
life; tired and dry.
next thurs; science ctr and TM !
post exam activities; dun wanna talk abt it. boring.to.the.core.
family; jia dou bu xiang jia.

someone asked me if the situation at home is always this tense. i wish i can answer her no but i cant.
happy times are just passing dreams.
wake up sheryl.

and the God who answers by fire; He is God. -1kings 18:24

and, i must start rmb-ing scriptural refs. and, choir's gna have end of year concert. and i think ppl are getting irritated, with me.

i dont know to love you or to hate you.

2005-05-16T18:57:00.000+08:00

im an alto-istt.. whees.

my suggestion is dont read the following unless you want your day spoiled.

there. i warned you.

family - the basic unit of society. yeah right.
i dont know to love them or hate them. im envious. why cant i have a family like say.. i dont know. why cant we be abit more fianancially stable.

forgive me if i sound so selfish but i cant help it and i cant stand it anymore.

when i was having leg cramps last night, couldnt even walk properly and i was asked to do this this this and this. dont they even care?

oh, so we dont have the right to even oversleep abit. so, he's the only one stressed in this world. dont it ever occur to him that we as student are equally stressed, if not more, as him? he's the neatest person in the world?

im getting immune to it. ate as fast as possible to get away from the table. was about to cry but i couldnt. dont know wad to say now.

holidays. no money at all. so sorry if i cant go out cuz im broke. i dun even get half of my usual pocket money. i guess i would survive the week using the five dollars on sunday. pathetic.

to think i said tt he's the best . crap.

and she is not helping at all. she doesnt want to go speedlight next year. i feel so sad for her. she just dont understand me. i want a nicer sister. but it's impossible.
do they know how and what i felt when i looked at the usher contact list. those who have it you can look at it and make the intelligent-est guess. they have the latest and i get the lastest?

speechless, confused, angry and irritated.

Jesus please please please be the Lord God of this family.

tears rolling down. i have lots more to write but i dont want to drag it.

zzzzzz

2005-05-15T21:17:00.000+08:00

okay here's the update on wad time i slept.

SIX A.M. -claps hands-

and woke up at seven. wad i did? pawed thru my stuff, made bookmarks.found smth interesting.

"sheryl's skin problem........................... ppl with such problems tend to be smarter." LOL. =p
so, felt so stoned the whole day. it's a BIG miracle tt i can stay awake until now. haa. DIDNT SLEEP DURING SERVICE !! xD

went for nine am service. oh goodness. saw david kor. so LONGG time never see him sia !
then cg.. hhahaha... lq looked at stoned as me cuz yesterday he crashed alvin's house. quite dumb things he did according to alvin. hahah..

kinda dead. speedlight worship was nice.
had leg cramps for the whole day. it sucks larh. suddenly pain like siao. in the middle of the service, anywhere

lunch with jan, carol, cindy, alvin [err... for five min only...] shimin and someone. hahaha we sang alvin burfday song! so loud lo. lols

yupz, then went to office to learn guitar.. learned some new songs! let it rain, majesty and awesome God. (:

majesty.. majesty.. your grace has found me just as i am.. empty handed but alive in your hands.. singing majesty.. majesty.. forever i am changed by your love in the presence of your majesty....

gna turn in early. head hurting. body begging me to sleep.
just realised. today is the second sunday. so fast.

part of me is missing and i dont know what.

blessed lil gurl..

2005-05-15T02:21:00.000+08:00

the only reason why im here is cuz i CANT SLEEP!
you must think im crazy cuz i drank coffee at 2.30pm and tea at 10.45pm. haha.

anws, i went for MS in woody (!!!) yeeehaaa. saw ally and pris at the mrt. heh.
stood up for the healing prayer. felt so loved. ally prayed , chermaine and sara laid hands on me. (: yay. im made complete!
during the service.. esp when we had to stand i felt so weak all over. duno why. my legs keep getting cramps. pain sia. =x

after service ate supper with ally pris and titus.. hahaha. now i understand why my cgl is so lame. cuz he has such a lame friend. =p
walked to the bus stop with shannon and another girl who i duno her name.. haha.. so funny larh them..

reached home at 12am. dad wanted to wait for me at the bus stop cuz it was raining but i ask him to stay home cuz he's sick. haha.

cleared my table. such an accomplishment. heehee. and made smth for cindy. yays.

to live is christ, to die is gain. (:

one holy fire..

2005-05-14T14:58:00.000+08:00

reading this book called one holy fire by nicky cruz. one of the few christian books tt keeps me reading on.. superb manz. gna pass it ard after i finish it. even my fren in sch picked it up, started to read and dun wanna return me [gotta "snatch" it from her, lol] hahaha. yeapz.

addicted to speedlight recordings. and choir songs. i duno why, i just love the harmony of voices. simply beautiful. and by your side. speaks it all..

woke up at 2.00pm.. yes you never see wrongly. lol.. i havent slept in so late before...^^
feeling better today. not so moody. yay.

today's gna be a boring day. duno if i shud go MS. hmmms. feeling hyper today.. duno why. hahaha..

for our God is a consuming fire
- hebrews 12:29

2005-05-13T23:17:00.000+08:00

O dear God we ask for your favour
Come and sweep through this place
Oh we desire You
I just want to be with You be where You are
Dwell in your presence oh God
O I want to walk with You

chorus:

And I will climb this mountain
And I'll step of the shore
And I have chosen to follow
And be by Your side forever more

Tell me what You want me to do Lord God
Tell me what You want for my life
Its Your's O God it's Yours

Do your will
Have Your way
Be Lord God in this place
O I want Your will to be done

perserverance

2005-05-13T19:24:00.000+08:00

i love the morning devotions in school.. on tues and wed.

tues was...trials produces perserverance.. in turn moulds character
wed was.. why Jesus made physical contact with the man who was blind when He healed the man. He cares for us and even if the world passes us by He'll always stop for us.

i almost cried. the way they say it..

cme paper was crap... lol. dun pass cannot go sec2... hahaha...
mmms. shoutouts time...... (:

****

tiffy dardar !
hellooos... dun be disapointed cuz of ur results.. know tt you do ur best and let God do the rest yah ! loveya!

ally [aka sotong mama ^^]
hahaha.. long time never call you tt right. =p... anws, thanks for being there...to be the "mama".. yupz. !

alenananana jie..
-wails- you must come back for a visit soon k. i misss you like a mad bananaa.. haha.. i miss you saying tt i am cute [oops] miss looking up at you, miss asking you why you're so TALL.. bahhaha.. thank you for giving to the Lord... (:

chermainey !
yes yes yes me owe you ten hugs.. nyahahhaa.. thanks for pushing me on for my muggingg.. lol. more spastic laughing at 5am.. more tickling.. more scratching cuz of the lib chairs.. more mugging tog yah ! yay. i hope usher retreat comes sooner. hahaha..

pris [aka mu ji !]
haiiz... i wonder why i got so many mothers. lol... yupz.. thanks for being there.. and haha... dun be mad at ur msn k.. it'll get fixed.... soon. x)

vinvin
yayyy... drink more TEA ! more caffine ! hahahaha...=p love suanning you. nyahahha.. grinzz... thanks for being there for me to suan? lol... no larh. thx for being such a swt ldr... (:

footprints in the sand.

2005-05-11T18:06:00.000+08:00

mmms... today marks the day of FREEDOM !!! wheeeeee...
had art exam.. hahaha... i think i'll pass la... i did footprints in the sand with the story and all.. hope it'll be a source of inspiration to the tcher.... ....
after that, went to j8 with the usual gang.. to celebrate freedom.. =p
we took the wrong bus ! so had to walk quite alot... haha.. got this enclosed space behind the busstop.. then we cut thru it.. like adventure or smth.. grinz.
btw... we gave the pillow to jeanne and she was SO HAPPY ! lol..
ate at ljs.. yum yum yum.. long time never eat there.. tho i wanted macs.. lol.. they strongly objected.. macs rocks kayy.. hahaa...
then window shopped abit.. and went to take neos ! heh. nice neos sehx... this machine.. decorating no time limit onez.. love it. heehee..
then.. more window shopping... blabla..
i tot i saw alex from my ex cg... i duno.. haha.. look alot like him i guess.. and i tot he had this "i recongise you" look.. hahahaa..
went down to ntuc outside.. this bench.. me started cutting the neos.. then THEY started singing all kinds of songs... from tong hua to where is the love to elmo's world.. hahahaa... i joined in la.. imagine four ppl sitting high up singing hokey pokey.. HAHAHA... witht the actions and all !
then decided to go into ntuc.. saw alot of things i ate when i was young.. like the "cheese spread"... the "yogurt".... etc.. haha my frens too.. they were like "aye ! last time i eat this thing one leh!" haha...
bought coffee milk.. love it to the max... (:
then felt very tired and went home first.. while they shopped more. ><... feel so bad for pungseh-ing them but couldnt take it anymore la.. vvv tired.. haha..

cramppps... yuckys.

and... without choir my voice is turning rusty again.. argh. sing like some mad banana now. ><.. goodness.. missing choir !

this is how we overcome !

2005-05-10T20:19:00.000+08:00

addicted to this is how we overcome.. lol.
okay... tml is my last paper which i care. [cuz thurs CME, dun care abt tt paper lar]... art ! zzzzz... havent do prep and stuff.. yucks.
today, mmms. jingyi mummie and beatriz da jie came to finish jeanne's pressie. lol.. one month alr la.. hahaha.. major pigging out ! =x... fat fat fat and my money. lol.

1 packet of roller coaster
1 packet of twisties
1 can of pringles
1 pack of gobstoppers
1 stick of fruit tella..

goodness.. plus all the sharing - chocos and more twisties.. fat ! =x...

tml is freeeeeeedooooom... YAYYY.. xD

----

Your light broke thru my night

restored exceeding joy

Your grace fell like the rain

and made this desert live

You have turned my mourning into dancing..

You have turned my sorrow into joy..

this is how we overcome ! xP

deny thyself

2005-05-09T16:12:00.000+08:00

"if only you knew.. He loves us more than He loves Himself.."(:

think i screwed my hist paper.. sorry maine but i think im gna fail humans. :(
math paper two.. surprisingly i think i did better than paper one.

haiis.. alot of things to do.. art exam prep.. sianz.. who's the dumbo who suggested art exams manz.. zzzzz... hate art lar!

[falling.. falling..falling... in lurve with You.. :D]

chao ji xing qi tian

2005-05-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

praise God. the only two words in my mouth.
yesterday's predictions did not come true at all! YAY.

firstly.. we did quite well without the ldrs.. nyahahahaa.. it was quite err.. slow and all. [the deployment] but it turned out fine.
service was good. went for the altar call.. knelt next to tiffy and put my hands on her. haha.. i let go then she put her hands, on me. thx dar..
no, we didnt get a free hairwash. haha.

jeans were totally wet from the rain.. =x.. got some yellowish stains now. hahaa... the ushering ministry was so cool.. all wear black except for jerome and jon. looked nice anw.

cg. i guess lingquan's... err scolding(?) last week did some work. haa.. yea. today was more focused and all.. had cg at the pavillion. jerrold shawn and leon teach.. HAHA.. bully the ldrs!! grinzz.. very funny lar..

talking abt lingquan.. haha.. saved me manz.. was looking ard for a black shirt tt a 13 year old can wear.. [for someone].. then he has.. too small for him. now i agree that it pays for him to be short. =p.

yeah. praise God! yay.

studied like mad today.. head gna burst.. haiis. exams! freedom sooooon.

[purify my heart.. cleanse me Lord i pray.. remove from me all that is standing in the way of Your love... ]

you are the reason why i smile. (:

sky down big mess.

2005-05-07T17:24:00.000+08:00

tian xia da luan = sky down big mess.

which, describes sunday may 8th 2005.. which, is tml. ahhh.

tml:
1. usher power house part II... no senior usher, no leader.
2. cindy got to go some ntu welcome tea or smth.. means, cg one man show.. [one cgl show?] oh goodness. considering last sunday WITH cindy.. alr so luan. tml...

haiyah. think positive banana!

went to amk lib with maine.. haa.. she one hr late laa... we went to this sofa and started to mug.. then some ppl came in.. become very noisy. so chg place.. to a bench.. haha the bench was our table..
yea.. ate potatoes for lunch.. quite filling.. used class fund.. of cuz will return la.. haha.. feel like writing in the logbook "$3.20 - sheryl's lunch" lol.. the class will whack me up.
then right.. this guy round the corner from us.. keep staring at chermaine once in.. 10mins? haha.. she was so irritated la..
duno, when i study with her.. she just make me wna study harder. chermaine koo yan ling.. do u have some special powers or wad? lol.
downstairs damn noisyyy... -_-.. some rc function.. argh.

"we're going bananas!".. haha..

banana going to explode. just pray tt all goes well tml.

into Your heart.

2005-05-06T13:44:00.000+08:00

warragh.. my only place of listening to "awesome God" by speedlight has vanished.. but is replaced by an equally nicer song ! makes me wna buy the hillsong cd even more.. pengz...
haiis.. screwed my papers again. =( lit.. zzzz... wrote less than half a page for a 20mark qn.. how to pass like tt.. but thank God i barely finished my math.. =x.. wad are tchers thinking man...
exams are dreadful enough la. results are worse. sigh.
okay..weekend here.. good. break from exams.. (:
it's raining.. yay.

i want to say i can but i cant..

//it's only when we are weak He can show himself strong..

oh how many times have i broken Your heart.. still You forgive if only i ask.. how many times have You heard me pray.. draw me close to You..
everything i need is You.. my beginning and my forever..

pencil animation

2005-05-05T18:27:00.000+08:00

mugging .. discovered this cute webbie.

http://www.ungro-p.com/t/t00013.swf

check it out eh.. funny.. haha..

//his grace is sufficient for me, his strength is made perfect when i am weak..

screwdrivers/

2005-05-05T15:40:00.000+08:00

screwed my chinese paper and i hope i do well for eng.. to balance out somehow. and i know im gna screw my humans, sci and math too. =(
lost my lit book. just nice. it's so ex.. cant replace it on my own.. parents will never buy it.. so i have to photocopy... sianz. by tml?!... no hope liao lah.
was complaining away to someone on tues night and he just replied with two words. "give thanks".. haii.. thanks for that reminder..
went to doc yesterday. glad i did. i got some allergic reaction. =x.. got abit hangover this morning.. medicine.. yea.. slept at 9 yesterday... sleep until i shuang.. haha havent slept so early since a long time ago.
come to a point when everything's seem to be my fault.. and yeah i'm dumb.. sighs.

addicted to speedlight's recording of awesome God and parachute band's im your servant. yays.

all for love

2005-05-03T19:57:00.000+08:00

my everything, my beginning, my forever//

study session with mainey today !! but itching now all ovre..cursed chairs.. haha... chairbugs!! never gna sit on those chairs ever again. bah.
back to being garfield's sister.. haha yes eye infection again.. it's gna brust with pus anytime. ewww...
tml is chinese paper. and i dun feel anythin at all.. weirdo..

argh.. cursed chairs!
and i decided... gna save for the new hillsong united cd.. starting from NOW. haha cant help it..
vinnie jie.. when are you going to lend me ur hillsong + delirious cd?? ^^... heehee.

//and that is Jesus Christ alone.

bugis junction

2005-05-02T19:31:00.000+08:00

okay.. now for the proper post. haha..
just to express smth.. i was thinking.. she's only leaving church and i'm like that. what if, someone as close to me [touchwood] die?? goodness me.
anw, went to bugis with tiffy to shop for presents.. wanted to take neos but decided not to.. hahaha.. we went to this shop.. tiffy bought a tee for her bro.. then i tot the paper bag v nice.. so casually remarked.. "haha i want the bag!" i was telling tiffy lah. budden the sales lady suddenly just took out another bag and put infront of me.. such a nice lady.. haha.
and taught tiffy how to cross stitch.. right in the middle of bugis. lol.
then tiffy told me that there was a division [my div] gathering at simei.. HAHAH...she told me i can go simei.. and pretend i'm meeting someone there at five.. nyahahaha.. just to 'scare' them.. no lah.. not so wu liao.. =p

oh, found douglas' blog.. got the Awesome God song ! whee.. and [to tiff].. where got sound weird?? find it very nice.. (:

and now the correct lyrics of "run to You"..

Lord my life is Yours
For even when my life was lost
Your blood flowed down to save me
Lord my soul is Yours
How could i ever believe
That i could be higher than thee
Lord my soul is Yours

And now i see my wrong
i bow before Your throne
O Lord restore me
And send Your rain to my heart

I will run to You O Lord
Lay my life before the cross
Lifting holy hands to You
I will worship You in truth.. almighty God..

"i just love the lyrics of the song.. a song of repentance.. a song of rededication.. a song of renewal.. a song of hope and freedom.. a song of faith like a child running to the Father.. "

agreed. the song can send the tears. haha.

[edit]
hahaa.. read half of kenny's blog and thought back of my sparklight days..
i rmb. he said that "he'll only speak in class when there is impt announcements" hahaa... everyone tot tt he was very straight faced. [and now i realised tt he's not] that was my first alpha youth class..
then.. rachel told me abt a speedlight cg and ask me if i want to go. and that is liz's cg lah.. so i went. and hahaa.. rach convinced me to skip alpha.
i guess.. God had that plan. and so i ended up in uncle patricks's div. for.. one year? and He transported me back into the sec1 div. but it's thru this one year i joined the ushering ministry.. and matured as a christian.. and as a person. really blessed.
it still amazes me..

haha. why am i typing this anw.

and talking abt ministry. maybe taking break soon.. i duno. and prayerfully this sunday will turn out well. no senior usher. no leader. goodness. prolly will get amanda to deploy or smth.. hahaa.. it's gna be crazy and i know it. but we can do it yah! amen.

[speedlight ushering ministry.. rawk on!]

unshed tears.

2005-05-02T18:14:00.000+08:00

alenaa jie.. if you see this i want to tell you i love you and i'm missing you alr. dun care wether this sounds funny mushy blahblah. -wails-

i guess.. i havent come to terms with her leaving.. hai. tho i knew it loooong ago. so, no one to call alenananaa... no one to call me cute [okay, that was unintentional], no one to look up to.. hais.. she's a great big blessing from God. good leader. good member of the bday comm.

maybe.. it has all been a dream. after reading some ppl's blogs.. i feel like crying again.. bah.

BIG BEAR HUG to alena! [note to her: if i cont writing that 3 page card it will be endless... ]

=(

mayday

2005-05-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

really, we act like she's gna die or smth. haiis.
shall make this short and swt.

morning, met manda at TM.. we lugged like.. 30packets of drinks and a cake to her house.. haha veryy heavy.
lead pnw for cg.. i think i didnt start well.. kinda rushy and all. didnt pray by myself b4 starting. but i came up with this.. i duno what. mayday is for the workers to rest.. and similarly sunday is for us to rest in His presence.. [haha.. just nice mayday falls on sunday]
mms.. there was abit of sharing.. abt holy ghost mtg. then we do the way of escape.. cg didnt end very well.. dun wanna eleborate..
speedlight's pnw was gooood. (: the last song.. acapella part veryyy nice.
after that, gm.. pizza.. drinks.. cake.. movie.......... message.. candles.... and.. her.farewell.announcement. thank God i didnt cry. sigh.
met 1st uncle at expo.. bookfair.. bought some books.. very cheap sia... 4 for 15bucks.
blahblah.. oh yah..told lingquan i'm going to expo.. and he was like "you are going to explode??".. -_-.. yeah man.. gna explode. haha.
cg started calling cindy lao ma.. nyahahahaha...

all good things must come to an end.

[Lord my life belongs to You
even when my life was lost
Lord my soul belongs to You
how could ever believe that i was higher than Thee
my soul belongs to You

but now i see my wrong
i bow before Your throne
oh Lord restore me
send Your rain to my heart

and i will run to You
lay my life before the cross
lifting holy hands to You
i will worship You in truth..
almighty God.. ]

2005-04-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

"the irony about drawing strength is that drawing requires strength too. so use lil more strength.. and you get the pun"

thinking about it.

minutes seconds hours.

2005-04-30T16:52:00.000+08:00

sorry to do this again.

7 hours 29400mins 17640000secs.

it's been a long time eh. i've known her for 1year and almost two months.
people who know abt it have been telling me that it's part and parcel of life.
i duno how i'll react tml. cry? wads the use? crying over split milk.
mum dun let me go TM with her. it's my first[okay maybe not first but you get the thing], and prolly the next one will be a loooong time away. cant she please understand? maybe she lost too many good frens and is numbed.
but i'm not. i feel that.. youknowwhat.

my prayer for her is that she'll continue to trust in God. thank God that He allowed our paths to cross.

Lord please keep my emotions bottled.. just for that few hours. give me Your joy.

"it is not that He loved His Son any less, but because He knew His Son could love us even more"

maybe like mainey, i'm sinking into ~~mild depression~~. okay i've been thru it. no big deal..
the headache's back. will appreciate prayers. and hugs, if you wish too.

sorry if this post is depressing. chocs make me feel slightly better. but the phlegm is getting me.
hais. saying too many sorries cuz i'm convinced that evt's my fault.

the singapore drought

2005-04-30T13:19:00.000+08:00

warraggghhhh... rain rain rain please comeeee

just came back from HBP. sianx.. 2 degrees away from spinal op. who cares, i'm not going for any braces/op or wadever. blah.
head still hurting and i dun want take medicine...
waited one hr for them to retrive my x ray. crap sia.. so LONG ! and in the doc's office only five mins..-_-.. didnt really listen to his talking.. was stoning. anw i alr know wads gna happen. wad for listen to it again? almost cried, so to say. but i didnt... cant in front of my parents.
going to cindy's house later for tuition. yay i love her house. (:

God is just one step away.. are you willing to take that step of faith?

refreshed !

2005-04-29T22:45:00.000+08:00

today is fun fun fun. except for my blowup with jacob and mr tan's last day.. mr tan rocks sia. had 3 hrs of practical.. yays. sooo coool.. chemistry !
at night, went for holy ghost meeting. while eating saw nic at the next table.. then blahblah.. found lingquan and jiajun.. went for dinner.. [again!] and sat with linda, lingquan, patrina, nic, jolynn, cheney and ldrs in my div.. [so many] it was so cool lah... nic pat and jolynn rcved the gift of tongues ! went to the altar to.. err "support" them.. was standing in front of lq and the altar was superrr packed.. yea i tot he wanted to move forward budden suddenly he just put his hand on me and prayed.. so sweet. thanks brother. i did wad vin did to me; i pulled him and pray for him back. heh. got all nervous so i made it short and sweet. haha.
then we went back to our seats right.. and the real Holy Spirit outpouring came. finally broke thru the pride and knelt down b4 God.. a broken spirit and a contrite heart he will not despise.. got really refreshed.. it was awesome. (: i wished that it didnt end ! bahahaha..

head is hurting like mad now.. again.. i bind it in Jesus name... (:

God will make a way....

2005-04-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

when there seems to be no way..

sigh. God please make a way.. i realllllllyyy want to go on sunday but would my folks hear of it? :(

well.. feeling headachey and sore throat.. again. why is this happening.. afternoon met tiffy and amanda at TM.. fun fun fun.. heh.

sigh sigh sigh.. Lord it's my last and yet it has to be booked up.. please free the day for me.. amen.

parade grounds.

2005-04-27T20:05:00.000+08:00

"and i must tell you this, im a christian"

when i heard that.. i didnt know wad to feel.. yes he is a christian, but is he showing it? it's hard to believe. i mean... i dun want to judge. okay anw i have no right to say tt.

dumb day today. shant eleborate... but enjoy mua new template ! [see what i mean, alicia? ^^]

;my soul is restored at Your feet; You'll never leave me alone..

what a friend we have in Jesus. (:

rawwr

2005-04-26T20:41:00.000+08:00

down with algebra... sigh sigh sigh.

im perfectly fine when i dun see it. tml got test and i think i'll fail it.. sorry if i'm so discouraging but i cant help it. cuz i'm discouraged.
and to make it worse mum is having some dumb mood swings. and affecting my mood too. oh thanks ah mum.
sigh.. when i'm feeling better this blog will have a makeover. heh. (:

; all to Jesus i surrender..

passion for Your name.

2005-04-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

warraghhh.. chging template sooon... when im less bz... tiffffyyyy tempted me.. hahaha..
just finished art exam prep.. argh heck it lah.. sian lor.. and my art is horrrrible...
today felt a little unwell.. maybe due to tiredness.. went to central to eat and do proj.. blah blah..

discovered this guy's music... veryyyyy nice.. he's super talented sehx... the owner of taylor guitar, so i heard... shall chg song soon too.. lalala...

read this person's blog.. so envious of his rs with his bro... sigh.. i wish my r/s with sis is that nice too.. they say it'll turn better as we grow up.. maybe.. i hope so.

take all of me has been ringing on my mind all day..

[[You walk the mountain tops for me, with You i walk thru the valleys.....
love that's stronger, love that covers sin and takes the weight of the word...
and i love You, all of my hope is in You.. Jesus Christ, take my life.. take all of me.. ]]

and btw.. i failed my science test by a miserable ONE MARK... feel so madd... one mark onlyyy!! thank God, i dun think need to sign.. but it'll be my parents knowledge one day anw.. sigh sigh sigh.

being humble.

2005-04-24T20:05:00.000+08:00

'being humble is where you know that you are weak and nothing when you are before the Lord. That only thru Him you can overcome, and have the strength and wisdom. So now you are in the Lord.. meaning you should know your identity in Christ.. that you can live life exceedingly....being humble to me is more like telling the Lord.. i can't do it without You. But low self esteem is where u say u just can't do it.'

thanks Lord for showing this to me... cant imagine me without You, the keeper and sustainer of my life.
feeling very weak now... please show Your strength through me..

lala feast

2005-04-24T18:57:00.000+08:00

yesterday night was fun... la la feast!! [clam feast]
went to cash converters to sell our junk.. SO MANY... and in the end only 43 bucks.. then minuc 2bucks [parking fee] we have 41 dollars. and off we went to marina to eat!
YAY.. the seafood is fabulous. we ate and ate and ate.. the bill [excluding drinks] is 41 bucks. just nice. so we thought. and i opened so many lalas that my fingers felt COOKED.. hahaha... [cuz when you open the clam, the soup drips out and anw it's hot]
and so we thought the money just nice! -_-... like. NO IT'S NOT.. after we eat we went back to the car... and we saw the summon uncle!! rawwr... another 30 dollars... sigh. one meal 71bucks.. obviously my dad didnt put parking coupon haha... so sad... wah... even i myself feel so xin tong.. one meal so EX... wad more my dad... =x
slept at two cuz did made me vvv pissed and couldnt sleep... tt's why today so stone.

today, went for 9am service as usual with auntie cindy... then cg... cg ended off with quite a serious note... cuz lingquan talked abt the topic of May [surrendering to God] and its like he asked if anyone has ever came to ask us if we're christians, why we do what we do. yea.. the cg was so QUIET !

talking about May... one week away. God please help me.. i want to let go of evt and let You in..

today's speedlight songs were nice.. esp the "run to You"... actually both the new songs were nice and v meaningful.. then we forgot one row [offering]..of all ppl i had to do standby with alvin[again] and [again] he pushed the job to me.. -_-"" he was like.. "senior usher where got hold door one".. hahaha.. shall be forgiving... =p
lunch with tiff ale vin jacq... teasing vin abt her age [again!!] whee.. so hyper.

and oh, thank GOD... cuz cindy say i can anytime go her house for math tuition. yayness... grinz.

first of may. first of may. first of may. first of may. why dont you distance yourself.. i dun mind time going slower.

maybe it's really time to let go. sigh.

[[dwelling on His grace, love and mercy]]

the father's love letter.

2005-04-23T12:21:00.000+08:00

"i am father and will always be father"

the Lord is close to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit [psalm 34]

"...and i will wipe away every tear from their eyes"

the complete expression of love.

decorating

2005-04-22T19:17:00.000+08:00

wahaha... i'm crazy with deco... whee.
wish i have a room of my own, then i can deco it all i want.
whee i'm hyper.

going to sing for chapel in july... the song is i will run to You... yay..
meeting more idiotic people each day. AND. i dun usually call ppl idiots. my math tcher totally cannot teach, she nags and all she talks about is integrity. bah. tt's partly y i hate math now.
and i'm not the only one who complains. and she is my form tcher. and im stuck with her for two years! rawwr...

choir camp in june ! yayness.

trying not to eat so much. haha... not dieting. but now i know wad is true hunger. food is really a temptation. baa...

talked to someone about someone a few days ago... was reminded of [wwJd]? wad would Jesus do if He were me? i was so fed up with that someone cuz... long story. budden... aft thinking... jesus would forgive her and talk to her about God... prolly. sigh.

like, i cant survive without her in choir. like as if.

another one of my 12-year wisdom [aka nonsense] : humans can never understand experience unless they experience the experience.

okay.. not gonna spoil my mood... feeling more optimistic today. good... off to study + watch tv...

the word of God

2005-04-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

finding myself in the midst of You
wont You pour down like rain
washing my eyes to see Your majesty.
to be still and know that You are here...

the last thing i need is to be heard..

please speak.

sandra rocks.

2005-04-21T20:59:00.000+08:00

sandra rocks my socks... dar dar rock too!! whee.
thanking God for sandra; the answer to my prayers.. was asking God for a person who reallllly loves Him and is in lighthouse... and i came to know her in cf. whee. she's so sweet.. prayed for my classmates to know christ, stayed with us when we were doing proj.. and blah. yay..
feeling better today. praise God... (:

new link... to the space where i post meaningful stuff i found... go see!!

[[all i want is to see Your face, all i need is a moment of grace.. it's in You that i have the faith to stand up and be strong
cuz i know im no longer bound.. it's in You that i have found peace of mind, freedom from my sins and the power to love and forgive
i want to walk with You everyday of my life, to talk with You in the good and the strive.. You're my friend, You're my Father for all time.. nothing can keep us apart, You're the lover of my heart...]]

giving up

2005-04-20T18:59:00.000+08:00

i want to tell my math tcher tt i'm giving up and im gna fail math.
feel utterly useless, cant even do some math problems [the simple ones even] maybe i really am. cant even pass 2.4km run. while some nice ppl [whom i love] were cheering for me, some ppl were laughing, jeering. last of the whole class. but thank God for mr sim. he's so understanding.
wad an irony. i tell ppl not to hate themselves and i hate myself. ha. better stop it. but i cant. God please HELP ME.
went to mainey's house just now to study. love her and her house. and b4 i got on the bus we hugged each other. i really needed that.

wont someone come and encourage me. need hugs and prayers. thankew...

me: where are You God, when i most needed You, when i am so sick, weak and weary and when everything seems impossible?
God: i was right beside you holding your hand.

imagined that i was running on the beach and i fell. then God came and carried me. it was such a comforting thought.

fed up

2005-04-19T16:34:00.000+08:00

this is way too late. my mind hasnt gone into the exam mode yet. bah. i totally have no mood to study even if i force myself to. argh. fed up with self yet again. [when i just told someone not to, two days ago] meeting mainey this friday most prolly, to mug. hopefully tt will get me into the mugging mood b4 it's too late.

so freaking warm today... making me all headachey. grr. now what do i have to do.

-countless math practices. [because i havent been doing them]
-lit essay + scapebook

what am i doing here anyway. why am i not used to sec sch yet. so tired these few days, how to study? i collapsed in bed yesterday once i reached home. couldnt take my weariness anymore. sigh. God please empower me. His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. i can do all things thru christ.

Lord please come and take control of my life. have Your way in me.

letting go

2005-04-18T20:04:00.000+08:00

letting go is not giving up. =)

brooded over smth for the whole night. decided to let it go. it's over, it's history, it's of the past.sat down and talked to daddy in heaven and set things right. after that i felt so much better. yup.

today choir pract - audition for parts! arghh they always choose the wrong time.. still sick sia. i failed it terrrrriblyy... ms yee said "you sick izzit? okay you come back another time"
=( nehmind... bleh... but there was a buffet.. the food was v nicE! whee.

oh i chanced upon a song today.. v nice.. check the song page soon.. [the last icon] yup. heex.

yea.. next time... must just be of total transparency to God. he ask, i do. i hope i can do it.... this has happened too many times.

the day.

2005-04-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

this morning didnt go well.. firstly i was supposed to reach church by 9.45am and i woke up at 9.30am.. alarm clock didnt ring.. so sickening.. so in the end terribly late.. wanted to cab down but it's so difficult to get a cab here.. baa.
then, cellgroup we had a "debate".. adam and eve- who sin first? vv interesting.. blahblah.. fast forward. speedlight... had to give up my whole row.. and somemore, they say must put one thing on very seat.. wah i telll u i practically emptied my bag... hahhaa... praise and worship was good... but.. haiyah dun want to talk abt it.. the same old thing.. going to pray against it. bah. sermon v interesting.. v funny.. haha... sat beside lq and in front of ernie... ernie tried to scare me.. while lq was vvvv lame.. -_-.. cindy came, and her tag was stolen by lq.. dun want to return somemore.. so mean. haha..
after tt, lunch with vin avian tiffy ale and eunice.. heh... then guitar.. blahblah.. went to hougang mall to eat... buy some stuff..

there goes sunday.

this song really reminds me God's presence in the speedlight camp..

[[let it rain, let it rain.. open the floodgates of heaven..]]

faithful father

2005-04-16T16:58:00.000+08:00

saw this short flash show.. almost cried.. called the father's love letter.

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html

[father, i cant explain this kind of love, this kind of grace
i know i still break Your heart and yet You run to welcome me

this is my song of praise to You
for who You are and all that You do
from the moment my life began You have been faithful

father i love the way you hold me close and say my name
i know when my life is through
my heart will find it's home in You]

this song touched me lots... rmb the story about the girl who went to cg and glad tt the guitarist chged the song? haahaa.. yup this is the song. (:

gotta fix my computer.. quite frustrated.. alot of virus.. norton dun delete everything it finds somemore... sian..

[in heaven] he will wipe away every tear from their eyes. there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. ~revelation 21:4

quiz

2005-04-15T23:49:00.000+08:00

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

2005-04-15T23:23:00.000+08:00

i know everyone miss me.. lol... i finally fixed my internet... yay!

bla. so, for the past week, i've been taking neos with vivien (yay), sang for chapel, lead for sunday cg pnw, fell long ago. went shopping with tiffy on sat at raffles city for alena's bday... wad else.
sunday had been fun fun fun... oh whee... actually the past week had been fun... alot happened but i too lazy to type out. haha.. MC on wednesday... offically fall sick.. so germy! cough, sore throat, stuffy/runny nose, watery eyes [this one has improved, thank God]pls pls keep me in prayer.. thanks.. (:
got so many things to thank God for, like the "mini" praise and worship in the office on sunday, my polyclinic fees [i tot i notenough money] my gang...they are so sweet!! called me thrice on wednesday using the payphone to ask how i am.. heex... and my class almost got detained by Mr Wee.. ALMOST! and oh, the 4th council investiture..tho i wasnt part of it.. really felt God's presence right there in the hall.. when pastor wee demo-ed wad is it truely a leader should be like.. [think: Jesus washes his diciples'feet] and cherlene is the head of the council this year! God bless her.. (: yup yup... God's blessings!
oh yah, i rcv-ed a "revelation"... haha... it's like, tt day i was trying to fix my net, and then i finally gave up.. i stared at the comp screen lah..stoning.. and i saw this little blue mountain, hidden [or rather, camoflaged] beside the green big mountain. [haha, if you use my destop pic you'll know..called "bliss"] and i realised, sometimes we just see what is before our eyes, dwell on our probs... and we never notice wad's in the distance, the solution.. aiyah, go try chg your desktop pic...if u usingXp.. you'll know... (:
but today.. sigh. achieved close to 0.. slacked and slacked.. gave up on my algebra sums... and on the Periodic Table. hahaa..
today.. joagathon so siannn... yah.. got alot alot of things to say but i lazy.. hahaha...

[[i stand in awe, so amazed.. totally changed by Your presence forever.. everytime i look into Your eyes i see a glimpse of what i always wanted to be... let me be changed..]]

spasticness

2005-04-04T19:18:00.000+08:00

haha i think i'm becoming v spastic. lol...
i just LOVE monday eng lessons, cuz it'll always turn out to be a very gd discussion... about newspaper articles.. (:
today, we discussed about 2 things: home schooling and terri [the woman who died after being in coma for 15 years] and touched just a little on the Pope.

for home schooling, teacher asked us to list disadvantages and advantages. i raised up my hand and shouted "CAN USE LIQUID PAPER!" [haha cuz my school dun allow liquid paper and i hate tt rule] mrs uan rolled her eyes at me and moved on. lol...

about terri, we discussed whether mercy killing is right.. from alot of points of view - religious, suffering, money etc.. i talked on the religious part; cuz in the end it's still murder. removing the tube and all.. the sad thing is tt terri's not a christian. ): thou shalt not kill ah.. hahaa...

i think if i have to write en essay on the above topic, my essay will be i duno how long. hahaa.. talking about essays, got lit and the stupid chinese thingo to do.

then after school, went to mavis's house... miss her sia.. haha.. watched abit of happy tree frens.. lol.. so grosss... and blah. off to algebra. (:

blessed`

2005-04-03T17:46:00.000+08:00

haha obviously i SHOULD NOT be here but i just cant resist it. =p [got tons and tons of cheena]
feel so blessed... God has blessed me with people of my div, people from the ushering ministry... people people.. blah blah... and mostly LAME people, that can cheer your day up. so here's a thank you to tiffy, vin and alvin! oh wheees... [haha tho alvin dun really understand how he did cheer me up but who cares] heex.

so anyway, got scolded by alot of cg frens today.. cuz cindy laa... tell me to tell them tt meeting at 10.15am, but in the end it wasnt SO early.. haha.. they were like "sheryl!! why you ask us to come so early?!" lol.. yup.. first divsion meeting of 2005 was today, 10.30am. haha the icebreaker was so lame.. you're supposed to play sissors paper stone with another person, from another cg. if you lose you stand behind him/her and it goes on and on... until the whole div was in one longgg line. ling quan and claudia were the icebreaker ic lah.. so he was saying, "you all know how to play sicssors paper stone right" everyone said no. hahaha.. =p
then, was praise and worship.. and the drama.. vv funny...
then was the message... then speedlight. ushered today.. haha same problem. blk b is always duno why cant fill properly.. but it's better today.
then debrief, lunch with paul cindy and lq.. then pract for next week.. in the office blah blah blah.

so NOW, i've to tackle a whole pile of chinese hwmk. ying yong wen, tingxie, zuo ye, and the stupid worksheet... plus ancient hist. warrraaggghhh... hate chinese hate chinese...

btw, it's nice to die of laughter and i'm dying of laughter.. hahahaha... good right? at least, you pass on with joy and not sorrow..count thy blessings.... =)

psalm 100

2005-04-02T16:51:00.000+08:00

it's so cool.. my dad gave me a box of pendants he made himself.. not exactly lah.. it's like he melted glass marbles and shaped it into pendants... yay.. going to wear one of them tml.. (:
and oh, just to share this psalm;

Psalms 100

shout for joy all to the Lord, all the earth. worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. know that the Lord is God. it is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture

enter His gates with thanksgiving and praise; give thanks to Him and give Him praise. for the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations

such a short psalm but it encouraged me lots. okay.. back to ancient history. =)

='(

2005-04-02T14:07:00.000+08:00

i wonder if they were thinking of what i feel...
haha, anyway i had too much practice in putting up a false front; they'll never know what i really feel..
felt so damn irritated by them... all the crap i have to go through. it's so argh.

why everyone else is perfectly healthy, without the stupid curved spine, and why why why.
now everyone who comes my house will ask why is that red rope there. hah.
i'm trying to act like it's no big deal, but it's NOT. ='(

stupid therapy. stupid spine. stupid braces.
feel like banging the wall again. i guess it's just best that you help me pray i wont. thanks.
feel like crying. sigh.

oh, maybe, it's just the pride.

oh well. who ask myself, born like that. feeble and weak.. so yup, it's my fault. ha.
lalala.. found out a truth today.. everything's my fault.. haha..

i think, it seems to you tt i'm talking nonsense.. if you dun understand the above it's perfectly fine.. there's no need to understand... haha..

may

2005-03-31T22:06:00.000+08:00

argh. why is this happening. why why why. i dun want it to end like the last time. no.. this is better.
oh well. pathways cross, lives change. we have to accept tt and i have two weeks to do so.

;i've let go of the need to know why...

may, please distance yourself. thank you.

headaches

2005-03-31T18:13:00.000+08:00

sigh.. now my head is kinda screwy... it seems tt some1 is screwing the side of my head.. and it's painful... argh... jingyi auntie say it's due to the lack of sleep. maybe.
anyway, had three periods of dnt practical... haha so tiring.. saw saw saw..
and my english project... got grouped with some1 i DUN LIKE. rawwwrrr...
after school, had CF... mwahahaha.. got icecream in bread! so LONG never eat alr sia.. and it's vv nice.. wheees...

friday; the last day of the schooool weeeek...
saturday; cindy coming i think.. to watch moviee...
sunday; speeeedlight!

and oh.. i think... most prolly i dun want to go jc.. haha it's too early to decide lah.. but just thinking about it.. rather go poly.. cuz jc v stress.... .... ... blah..

MYEs MYEs MYEs

2005-03-30T17:30:00.000+08:00

okok i know i shouldnt be here but ahhh well.

apprarently, my internet has gone crazy... sigh.. yes, AGAIN.
what else? oh, i got caught in the rain today.. and i slept quite early yesterday. so, today i concentrated abit better.

yesterday met up with tiffy in tamp.. haha.. wanted to shop for smth.. but wasnt v fruitful..so we went to Times.. saw some nice nice books.. then went to the library to borrow them. lol... tiffy was so indecisive.. haha.. and you can hear her spastic laughing all over the library.. =p oops.. haha..

stressed up... testtts... dumb tests. so many chaps at one go.. ><
resolution to do qt has gone haywire.. blah.

and... the wake up call... the earthquake! 8.7 on the ritcher scale.. sigh. oh well rmb? nations will rise against nations... kingdoms against kingsdoms.. there will be earthquakes.. famines.. all over the world.

the Lord is coming.. soon.. soon.

MYEs; 4++ weeks.
sunday; 4 days.

his ways..

2005-03-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

His ways are higher than our ways..
thoughts higher than our thoughts..
timing always perfect.

i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.. =)

man can plan but when God moves something else happens.. Lord i'm trusting You..

the thought of it all brings tears to my eyes.. tears of joy cuz i know God will see me through.. yayness.. smilez..

` 5 weeks to MYEs... mug mug mug!

Consuming Fire

2005-03-28T16:33:00.000+08:00

Consuming Fire - Hillsongs United

There must be more than this,
O breath of God come breathe within,
There must be more than this,
Spirit of God we wait for You.

Fill us anew we pray,
Fill us anew we pray.

Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name,
Spirit of God fall in this place,
Lord have Your way,
Lord have Your way with us

Come like a rushing wind,
Clothe us with power from on high,
Now set the captives free,
Leave us abandoned to Your praise.

Lord let Your glory fall,
Lord let Your glory fall.
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
A passion for Your Name.

[But He said to me: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness."...... i delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. for when i am weak, then i am strong.] -2 corinthians 12:9-10-

dwelling in His's strength.. for in Him i am strong. =)
feeling terribly tired but.. nehmind about it. haha..

2005-03-27T21:33:00.000+08:00

haha.... finally internet's working..
anyway... saturday.was.boring. i was reading... lazing ard and blah.. boring boring.

SUNDAY... which is TODAYY... was soo cool!!

in the morning.. as usual, met cindy to go 9am service.. but we had to meet earlier.. cuz cindy had to pract with lq...
but lol i woke up late... cuz yesterday night i watched the late night movie [hai zi shu] then overslept.. hahaha... sorrrrryy..
then, when we were practicing, nicholas' mom came to us, and asked us wether he was supposed to meet us.. and we said yah.. then
he's mom say tt he's still sleeping.. hahahaha...
so, i went to the service with lq, cindy, denise, alvin, cheney, grace, gloria and kenny.. sat at blk D.. sermon was good.. kinda
"bible study" like... prayer booster part 4.. after the closing prayer, lq started talking [or singing] alot of rubbish.. hahaha... he irritating alvin lahh... we kept asking
him to shutup.. haha... walked to golden pines, almost to cg alr.. then leon came, booed lq, and then asked this qn "hey lingquan, where's your guitar?" LOL... the reaction was SO funny... "oh SHUCKS... i forgot my guitar!" hahhaa... then cindy and alvin were like
"seelah! sing somemore lah!" hahahaha...

rightos.. cg was about way of escape chap 1 qn 5and6... broke into prayer grps and blah.. ushering, i was so blur.. same problem
appeared, seem tt we cant pack blk B properly. sigh.. think cgs are getting bigger haha... but tt is good..
celebrated kim eng's bday.. we taking ministry picture right.. suddenly alvin just dashed in.. haha...

ate lunch with cg.was a lame lunch as usual.. then went to office.. wahh... 1h [i think] of guitar...now fingers hurt alot..
but nvm.. cuz it's all for God.. =)
learned a new chord.. Bminor.. yay.. and a few songs.. strumming is somewhat better.. bla..

went to the sanctuary after tt, cuz everyone leave liao.. ahhh... i looked down the alsie.. saw JOYCELYN!! she oso saw me.. then we just
ran to each other and hugged.. miss her so muchh!!

[[consuming fire.. fan to the flame... a passion for Your name...]]

pray x100000000000000 !

2005-03-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

okay. dunnit i think.

and this is getting worse !

i've to pray vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv hard even to go to the speedlight camp. starting from NOW. sigh.

and, here comes sheryl the guai kia.. going to try reverse physcology and stick to it. haa... oh well.

;Lord please please please make the path clear.. the door open. thank You in Jesus name..

rotting

2005-03-25T15:52:00.000+08:00

argh. everyone's at nicholas' house having a big good time i bet. and i'm here rotting away. =(
it's damn irritating. my parents [yes it's them again] dun let me go. and dun even let me eat with my cg. i've this bad bad feeling tt they wont let me go for the next i duno how many gatherings. somemore, they never even plan smth constructive today. [oh, you mean rotting at home is constructive]

okay sheryl. quit complaining.

anyway, just to describe yesterday. and this morning.

[[yesterday]]

grandma woke me up at 1am, saying, "sheryl ahh.. hai mei you qi chuang ah??!!" then i reached for my phone... see the time... and scolded her lo... haha "ahhh maaa!!! xian zai zhi you yi dian laa!!" and slept back. lol

gd friday service in school.. guest speaker. the speaker was vvvv funnnnnyyy!! hahaha... then, did community service..... ....
they sent us to novena square. selling pens. haaa..... it was bad... pls lor... at tt time, ppl working...how to buy pens. craziee la. so anyway, we wnet from novena square to novena church, then to novena square and then to opp novena sqaure, back to novena square and okay i know you're confused. =p
was vvv tiring. hahah..

at night, went to meet tiffy, ale and vin for dinner [edmund father's wake]... at white sands. then vin was late, so we went to foodcourt first to meet cheney and alvin. haha... we saw them from the escalater lor...cuz they sitting next to the window. the table v small, so we chged table... suddenly alvin say "ehz tiffany! cannot wear blue!" then tiffy was like going to cry like tt... in the end is alvin bluff one laa... -.-"
haha... so funny lor the dinner... alot of it was teasing someone. haha...then alvin told me tt he heard today my cg got organise smth right.. then ask me if got go... then i said no, he ask why.. then i say tt i got family gathering. but added under my breath, "tt's just a nicer way of putting it" tiffy heard it la. haha..
vinvin finally came at 7.20pm... then we went to this shop to look for inspiration... to write the card... decided on romans 8:28. took bus to the block... haha yes as usual the bus trip was equally lame...
rightos. the wake. the service was okayy... then jacq came. haha... ate the food... tho abit paiseh... somemore laming ard... more teasing... [=p] then we gave the card to edmund.. talked abit... to his sister oso... [hahaaa this is the funniest part of it... but i wont say why] saw sarah...blah... then about 10 like tt we went to take bus to tampines at the west mall there... alvin needed to go to the washroom...[jacq went off alr] then we decided to hide... bluff alvin we go off liao... hahaha so funny.. me ale and tiffy hid... [but we were still quite prominent] vin and cheney hid behind the big advertisment thingo. [they were v well hidden]..laughed like siao... then alvin haha saw us... [but didnt see vin and cheney] so we came out la... budden right... suddenly cheney ran out from behind the ad board... jumped on alvin. lol... alvin was so shocked lo! hahaha... then we said to him.. "see la.. always bluff ppl.." hahaha... yeah... bus came... the bus trip was soo lame... [haiis, with alvin ard... wad u think?] reached home at 11pm.

wanted to tell my parents abt the cg gathering... but they cut me off even b4 i opened my mouth to talk. hopeless.

[[today]]

-.-"" why all gd fridays are like tt?! anyyywayy

supposed to meet cg at 9.30am. only shaun and melissa were there.. the rest duno go where. cindy sms, say she late. lq never sms. oso duno he go where. shaun booked the whole row. haha.. in the end.. our dear leaders were v late... had to give up the seats. they ended up in the manger la. haha..
the choir was vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv nice sia! =) i like the entrance... heex...
then right.. aft service we met cindy and lq at the vending machine. tried to ask my dad again, but he refused, flatly. so cannot lor.. couldnt even take pic with them.. or eat lunch. was dragged off to central.. ah boring la... no appitite to eat... so din eat. was so moody... didnt talk much.
folks were talking abt me in dialect, i know. my dialect isnt tt bad lor.

ah. take a knife and kill me... this doesnt feel like family anymore... =(

now i'm just rotting at home. it's 3.49pm. and nth to do. no 'family gathering', no cg gathering. sigh.. i just want to throw pillows at someone. nah, i want to fly to tampines, to nicholas' house and watch movie with them. but.. haha.. talked to pris, and she said she understand wad i'm feeling now... so thank God for her.. she said tt "honor thy parents" and i did tt... and so God will honour it. i guess so.

finally, if i tend to send some moody sms to you... you can choose to ignore it. really. i just need to vent it somewhere... dun waste your sms.

[[to numb to feel. someone please explain wad's happening. my life is not mine anymore. it's theirs. no. it's God's.]

2nd anniversary!

2005-03-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

wheeeees.... guess what what?! today is my second year with jesus!! ;D yay... hahaa... weird tt i still rmb... but it's v easy cuz it's one week after my mom... heex.
stuck with some delimma but i guess i have to choose one, by friday. nahs, i think i've alr made my choice..
lit today was quite fun... acting a play! haha... looked so funny in my dad's shirt...
and sian sia... today after swimming, the instructer was so lor sor... talk so much... then in the end we had to shower late, and the person using tt cubicle which i was queuing up for was an auntie... plus i bathe vvvv fast liao.. in the end we were late... so almost all the gurls in my class were marked as "absent" and we have to go for makeup lesson next week... crap... so unfair lor.
nvm... shall be forgiving! -.-"
this week have been so slack... no hmwk at all... so shiok... tmr doing community service.. quite looking forward to it.. selling some nkf stuff. heh..
had a vvv nice chat with jingyi and jeanne just now in the canteen, over lunch and after eating lunch... talked and talked and talked... told them my frustrations.. then we just talked abt our childhood la... heex... =)
chermaine sent me smth v nice... so encouraging... thanks gurl..

Jesus please be the Lord of my family....

[[crucify the "me" and let God take root of your life... more of Him, less of me.]]

2005-03-22T17:27:00.000+08:00

dear God.

as i was sitting on the floor in the classrm just now all the feelings of remorse just washed past me.
im really very very tired... want to bang the wall... tired physically.mentally.spiritually and the list goes on.. i know v well i shouldnt be complaining.. aft all, You were the one who suffered more than me... i know You understand me very well.. inside out, way more than myself.
feeling very jumbled. i dont even know what to feel. this family's falling apart and i'm helpless. yes, maybe she doesnt mean it.. it hurt my heart alot and You know... what can i do but pray? is it a very hard fact to accept, the fact that being bz is a part of life?
sometimes it's just so superficial. smiling when i dont feel like smiling...
really want to break down but something's holding me back.. i know it's You Lord... i know it's You... the one that sustians me and all..

and yet will i praise Thee... lift my hands and sing yet will i praise Thee... way high above my circumstances i will praise You Lord..

i belong to You... you have said "this one's mine"... and truely the devil cant snatch me away..
i love You Lord... i want to run back into Your open arms, knowing that You will welcome me.. thank You for Your grace which gives me strength everyday...

as good friday comes... i reflect and think upon Your sacrifice for us...

anti socialist

2005-03-22T17:21:00.000+08:00

sigh i'm becoming more and more and more and more anti social..
even jeanne commented on it alr...
and guess what.... i kinda lost my patience alot today ahhh i cant help it.... sorrrys ppl...
seem tt it's so difficult to get their attn... and some ppl in my class just want to make life difficult for me. i TOLD them tt i'm collection one buck for the CLASS FUND... wrote it BIG on the whiteboard.. and they just dun care. gave them one day alr lor. i get comments like...

"loanshark coming!"
"why must pay? what is the class fund for?!"
"i dun want to pay leh!"
"i got no money!"

and more dum crap. sighs. okayy.... better ctrl myself.

and sometimes... my frens just laugh laugh and laugh... over some vvvvv not-funny-things. -.-"" feel v i duno... maybe i'm just sensitive..

and this topic of being a christian and God is vvvvvvvvv sensitive in my school... teachers... students and all...gahs.

offering

2005-03-21T19:19:00.000+08:00

haha... today was a pretty boring day.
just read al-T's post and realised again why i tot the offering part of the planetshaker's concert was crappy...

"2 bucks cant do anything!" -.-"

havent he heard of the bible story... this woman who gave her all [which was v little] but God thought of it as alot? cuz it was everything she had...

so yah... 2 bucks can do alot of things.. bahaha... we were laming ard when he said tt... "2 dollars can buy eight ice creams! tempura chicken! blah blah!" anyway the point is if you give God like the max of what you can give.. it's enough...

today: jeanne burned like most of my photocopying card [left 4 pages i can copy]and we worked on our math worksheet... so fun lor... and were laming ard... with jeanne acting blur and me playing along with her... hahaha... she was like "how do u make the [comp] mouse move ah?" then i said "oh.. vv easy onex...just put it in front of the cat and it'll run after the cat.." hahaha...

and i juz realised i spent alot during the hols... ALOT... almost 30 bucks.. and tt is like one over week of my allowance......... bleah! gotta save save save sheryl.... SAVE!! means: eating lesser and not as and when you want to eat, stop buying pens, stop taking neos, stop buying anything on the spur for the time being....... sighs...

which means, actually... out of the 70 bucks i saved over.... .... ... [gasps!] 6+ years... i used up alot of it. =x ! sighhhhhs.... saveeee.... argh

somehow over the past few days i got this thought... how would i react if some1 close to me die? hmms..

and im not going to lead pnw for CF liao... i cant do it. really cant...and being a watchlighter...sighh... really gotta chg my mindset. must serve with a willing heart... but i dun want.... anyway it's only one more week [i think]

found this meaningful song yesterday... duno the tune or wad but i think the lyrics are vv nice.

Jesus Christ, i think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing, pour out to death
many times i wonder at Your gift of life
i'm in that place once again, i'm in that place once again

once again i look upon the cross that You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and broken inside
once again i thank You, once again i pour out my life...

God cant break His word. and because his word cannot be changed, the promise is likewise unchangeable.
We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised land with both hands and never let go.

[hebrews 6:18]

heavy cross?

2005-03-20T21:13:00.000+08:00

i remember there was this night after MS... i was eating supper with my mom's cg...
and i was feeling v tired... so i like leaned on my dad la...

then,one of the guys said.. "why.. tired ah... your cross too heavy izzit?" [cuz i was wearing a cross necklace]
it was meant as a joke la... but now it has become a reflection point for me..

sometimes we're really tired of bearing the cross... maybe it's too heavy... isnt it?
but in the end, like when we're tired we draw strength back by sleeping, i think we shud like draw strength from God when we feel so spiritually tired...

sigh... maybe im talking to myself... okay.. back to math..

honor thy parents?!

2005-03-20T19:46:00.000+08:00

"honor thy parents"

sian sia... this is so much for me... they suan me like directly... and blah. and the most hurting thing [yes i'm damn hurt] is that they actually say i dun care about the family.. and i'm as if i'm not part of the family. what crap is this. just because i didnt want to go to the movies and had to skip a family gathering cuz got hsewarming. please lo... gimme a break. =(
yah.. lingquan said that she dun mean it... oh really... she had to say tt like duno how many times... haaa....
i couldnt stay at cin's house yesterday. duno whatever dum reason.. and wadever. and today i couldnt even eat with the leaders just because school starts tmr... what kind of reason is that. they better brush up on their reason making. ha.
yes i'm so negative now. vv pissed...

anyway... lemme describe yesterday and today...

[[yesterday]]

cindy called me at 1.30pm, telling me to go to tampines to bring the cg to her house... hsewarming. wahhh so last min lorr... she was supposed to go... so ANYWAY... i went.. met them and all.. lq was like vvvv late... and blah...then we saw alvin and he decided to go with us.. yahh... and we like last min decided to buy cindy a pressie.. the girls were like "THIS!" "no.. THAT!" in life bookshop.. haha.... the guyS? outside making alot of noise... haha.. so in the end they paid.. and we were running ard to find some dum wrapper... mini toons, 2 bucks excluding the wrapper... like daylight robbery lor... lol... so we ran to toys r us... and FINALLY to popular... haha.. the leaders [lq and alvin] were like... asking us to hurry... and what.. when we chose the wrapper.. they said.. "aiyoo!! this oine so ugly!" -.-"" who were asking us to hurry ah??
and haha.. alvin kindly sponsered the wrapper and the tape... we like ran to the back of the bus... and started wrapping! so noisy lor... me and ser kept shouting.."TEAR THE TAPE!" haha.. so funny lorr... then right... i had to divide the paper into two... no sisscors... tt leon have laa... but after we finish then he take out... -.-"""!!
haha.. reached cindy's house.. had alot of fun sia... and i tell you.. being their tour guide is soooooo tough lor! they walk SO SLOW when we're alr like.. late... wahhh... lol...
then right... cindy wanted to play soccer in her skirt.. haha.. lq kept saying "cindy... you're wearing a skirt laaa" hahaha.....
yeah... the guys went down for soccer... and blah.. then we went down oso... lq talked to us about today... [[actually wanted to go LEW but this chged my mind]] he said today cg got extended pnw.. yah...and we just prayed there lor... vvv nice sia... =)
yeah.. wanted to stay at cindy's hse to like do qt together but my parents said no without giving a nice reason.. [they realllly have to brush up on reason making]
so at the end i was v glum lor... but we played heart attack.. hahaha... i always win!! lol...
lq walked me home and i wanted to do qt.. when my family sleep.. but they sleep like vvv late.. so in the end i fell asleep... v tired.. 2.30am.. and i woke up at6am to pack my dumbo table... wahh...

[[today]]

went with cindy to the 9am service.. the pnw was nice... be magnified was so nice... yah...
cg... -.-" haha.. lq was leading pnw right.. and he was like saying that our body is a instrument of praise.... and demo-ed like.. alot of ways to praise God... it was crazy laa... haha... but so funny...
pnw was nice... i really tried to imagine i was alone... dun care about the ppl ard me... closing my eyes really helps.. yup... same for speedlight oso...
went to speedlight earlier to book seats.. i tell you.. really praise God.. the ppl who went today for speedlight was like.... 19 people!!! wowwheees... we miscounted and in the end louisa, patrina and lq had to sit separeted from us... haha... pnw vv nice!
haha.. dozed abit like towards the end of the service.. really couldnt take it liao.. was like super tired...oops... haha...
after that, lunch with carol, cindy, patrina, lq, denise and did i miss out anyone? was a lame lunch laa.... haha... i love my div sia...
went to the office...MATH! and was laming ard somemore la... haha...
wanted to eat with the leaders as i said just now... dad said no... duno some dumbo reason... sian sia...

wishlist: to spend one entire day [read: 24hrs] dwelling in God's presence. as in just be still... praise and worship.. yah...

sigh... going to finish math
and i'm planning to just tell my teacher i cannot do my history assignment... i really duno what to do........ =((

hot water and instant noodles.

2005-03-18T23:24:00.000+08:00

yayyy finally this thing works but i need to get used to it.
anyway, let me blog about today and yesterday!!

[[yesterday]]

met tiffy at the mrt [[paya lebar]].. went to her house! so big sia. we wore the same thing tho we never like go and coordinate. haha... black shirt and pink shorts!! ^^
then we met jh for dinner. hahaha.. we talked about alot of things but i was sorta more of the listener. heex.
then we took the bus to hwjc. [[28 stops!]] tot the concert started at 7 so we like ran in but in the end it started at 7.30. hahaha... i think the best peice was the Polar Express. wheee... so cool and cute lor.. lol. saw ade!! lalala.
after the concert... we took the bus back. then we were like hungry. so wanted to look for 7-11. budden we saw this patrol stn [mobil] and so we got down. super ulu sia.. haha... then me and tiffy went to the toilet.. according to jh we sound like..... er. girls screaming and laughing inside. lol.
we asked the counter lady if they got provide hot water for the noodles... [[the auntie's name was mdm lee]] she say have.. so we bought noodles... then right... when she wanted to help us make the noodles.. the dumbo supervisor came and said "mdm lee, we dont provide hot water service here. it's against our law!" like -.-"" !! lor! but then the kind guy.. he asked us to go out and open the instant noodles... then bought us to this somewhere 'secret' place to make the noodles warm... so sweet sia... he could have not bothered us lorr... he say inside got camera. haha... then it's like so paiseh.. the staff got scolded cuz of us.. and THEN we encountered another problem... we had to get past the supervisor's sight cuz we needed to go back to the bus stop.. tiffy got this dum idea of holding our noodles on our left. but it was pretty obvious la lol... yah.. we peeped in and i think i saw the supervisor scolding the staff. poor people. haa.
what will be your reaction if you see three ppl eating noodles at the busstop?? hahahaa.... pathetic laa...
yah lor.. took the bus home and all.

[[today]]
got so pissed cuz

1. i had to quarell with my sister cuz i wanted to do qt. ironic.
2. the keyboard spoiled.
3. my mom was super pressurising me to do smth. i accidentally erased smth la... then she got super angry... like i not stress lor... sian sia.

haha.. accidentally slammed a book on the floor.. hope she never hear.. yah...

then got so pissed... went to vivien's hse... haha... thank God for this fren.. =) met tiffy earlier... blah... then went to pasir ris to meet her cg... felt abit funny.. like extra like tt.. but it's over.. haha...
yah lor.. went to planet shaker's concert... abit dry la.. and the offering 'sermon' was kinda crappy... haha... we didnt know where the money will go lor... and it's like the person was 'pushing' us to give like tt..
but the salvation prayer was nice.. we kept singing "rain down on me".. yupp.. althea and tiffy beside me just knelt down.. then i felt this tug in my heart to kneel and put my arm ard tiffy's shoulder.. haha.. i guess she kinda needed it... =)) hugs tiffy!
the concert finish liao..we [eunice, me, tiffy and althea and another guy] went to macs to eat supper.. haha... yay.
blah.. vvvvv tired... gg to pia my hmwk.. try to recall the formulas and such... meet cindy and my cg... cuz cindy got hsewarming......... ... ...

two things realised today

1. qt rawkx!! =)) i'm loving it more and more as the days go by...
2. perfectionism is a killer.. dun strive to be perfect cuz nth is perfect. it can be a stumbling block.. just do ur best and give God the rest...

and i was doing qt the day b4 and i read this... it was one of the footnotes in my bible..

6:11 -- the armor of God

ephesians concludes with a concise analogy, perhaps inspired by a glimpse of a roman soldier, outfitted in armor, patrolling thr grounds of paul's prison. paul viewed the christian life as a kind of warfare, and he wanted his readers to prepare for the combat with a dangerous opponent. bible scholars often note two details:

1. only the sword of the spirit is an offensive weapon and all the rest were used for defense.
2. no armor protects the back and rear; paul made no provision for running away from a spiritual battle.

plus another point:

to remember the armor of God easily... think of a cross... go and figure it... really works. just look abit.. see where the places of the pieces of armor are and you'll get it. =)

yup... gg to sleep... night world...

doughnuts

2005-03-17T13:45:00.000+08:00

argh. i KNOW i shouldnt be going nuts but i AM going nuts!!!!!!
i really am stuck at my history assignment.

and i know im going to struggle through math. i know it.

cries!

today is the day haha..my poor comp will be reformatted. so, miss me for a few days. lol.

0 day to mainey's concert
1 day to planet shakers concert
2 days to cindy's house warming
3 days to sunday!!

oh. i just rememebered. i havent call alot of ppl yet... ahhhhhh help me!!

Mercy Me- spoken for

Take this world from me
I don't need it anymore
I am finally free My heart is spoken for
Oh and I praise you
Oh and I worship you...

[Chorus]
Covered by your love divine
Child of the risen Lord
to hear you say "This one's mine"
My heart is spoken for

Now I have a peace I've never known before
I find myself complete
My heart is spoken for

Oh and I praise you
Oh and I worship you...

By the power of the cross
You've taken what was lost
And made it fully yours
and I have been redeemed
By you that spoke to me
Now I am spoken for

Take this world from me
i don't need it anymore...

history assignment

2005-03-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

sighs. i'm frustrated. some stuupid hist assignment.
WHERE DO I FIND PICS OF OLD OLD SINGAPORE?!!?!?!?!
=x!!

and im gg to create a blog for my pics. hehe.
the song has nth to do with who sung it.. it was the original song and actually i find it meaningful.

my work is piling up. why did i volunteer to do the whole dumbo hitler lit proj. [btw, when is history linked to lit?!!] better get cracking.

reformatting

2005-03-16T18:13:00.000+08:00

argh my dad gna reformat the comp.. which means, i've to dl evt again after tt. sian... i better note it down first.

1. msn
2. hello
3. window's journal viewer [msn handwriting]

yeah.. haha.. and it also means tt we have to reconnect evt, like the internet. -.-

ANYWAY, today is great. cept for some dum stuff like the teacher scolding us and this angmoh lady who scolded me in the washroom. -_- i was so pissed off by her but well maybe it's my fault too.

morning - dnt makeup lesson... hahaha! sawing sawing sawing. it's tough.. hand vv tired... after that the girls ran to the washrm and chged into street clothes.. then we carefully [and runfully] made our way outta school.. lol...
then we met the other girls at the mrt stn.. and off we went to orchard.
when we reached orchard we splitted into two groups.. one went to taka to eat and the other wanted pizza. [which was my grp] we searched the whole wisma and no pizza hut. -.-"" and so ended up eating macs [again!!] haha.. i love macs.. by the time the other grp finished, we just started eating. hahaha...
yupz.. they came over and we finished eating. [managed to get a few candid shots =p] we then tried to find far east PLAZA and we walked all the way to far east MALL. and so the direction dumbo girls walked for an hour, from taka to far east plaza. [i never rmbed it was so far from taka!] and we took neos! the first round was combined, all eight ppl in a booth. hahaa.. it was so crazy.. running in and out of the booth. but the pics were nice. =) next we spilt again into two grps and took more neos.. wow im so satisfied with themm... wheees...
haha.. then went to buy drinks.. and some ppl left... walked to wheelock place [borders] and found some books on hitler.. looked at some pics.. wow he was really cruel.
talking about hitler... we talked abt him in cg. [haha, yes lessons can go all the way to hitler] we were like discussing.. if jesus died for all... did he die for hitler? after all.. if he did then it's like "wasted". budden we came to a conclusion tt jesus really died for everyone. yeapz!
now so tired. tmr is mainey's concert and friday is the planet shakers concert! lalala...

will post pics sooon.. =)

words.

2005-03-15T16:40:00.000+08:00

haii... rmbed got a time someone said i never take his words seriously.
in fact i do. anyway now i cant turn back anymore.

must learn to let go of this type of things. the bad things ppl tell me. =x

yeah. decided smth today. must do 8to820 consistantly. =)
and, must get the clocks out of the room.. clocks are vvvv distracting to me.

grr... crap sia... have to do the dumbo dishes just because i didnt wash up to sactisfation yesterday. =xxxxx!! didnt i go through this before............ .... .... .... ....

off to do qt.

[[just drop evt.. stop singing.. stop rushing about.. stop doing anything. find a place to wait on God.. wait and wait till you dun want to wait anymore.. but wait somemore.

it can do wonders. ]]

crazy wayne

2005-03-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

haha... talking to wayne. the conversation crazy la... lol..
went offline yesterday at 1am. hahaha..

anyway.. some1 referred this verse to me. it's funny.. ecc 1:2...this is the person's fav verse. -.-""

meaningless! meaningless!
the teacher says.
utterly meaningless!
everything is meaningless.

when i read it... hahaha... i laughed. funny sia.
and i dug deeper into it.. actually the writer [solomon??] was trying to tell us that the things on this earth is meaningless.. so dun dwell too much on them. haha... not exactly a negative verse.

this verse appeared to me twice this week...in cg and chapel.. comforted me lots.. yup.

if we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself

~2 tim 2:13

btw i cut my hair. i want my old hair backk!! =x
AND i just heard this morning [12.15am] tt almost my whole cg jumped during service.. whoootx... haha.. too bad i wasnt with them. duno if this observation is correct... but i think the guys are more on. haha.. anyway my cg rocks.. wheee..

really, God has a great big plan. he planned for lq not to have a capo during cg. he planned for me to go phs. he planned for me to go to the older sec3 div, then to the sec1 div. he planned for me to join the ushering ministry when i was p6. he planned for me to come to lighthouse. and you get the idea.

feeling so thankful now for the people around me.. yeah. dun have to fake smiles in church.. there are so many lame people. ahaha... thinking of what tiffy told me yesterday, about showing our emotions anywhere. kinda agree, but tt means showing a false front which is not easy.

need to spend 8to820[aka qt] sighs.. it's just so difficult. i wandered off the road and i want to come back..

need to do smth about praise n worship in cg... it's really dead. v saddening. just cant forget there was once two guys were like.. laughing and playing ard during pnw.. duno their names la. sighs. really pray tt it'll turn better soon. dun want it to seem tt only in speedlight camps we'll have v good pnw..

sian you know. life, as i said, is getting more and more routine.. smth exciting please happen.

wayne just went offline.. haha.. his lecture ended. so now ive no one to talk with. listening to worthy is the lamb.. wow this post is getting long but i dun want to stop writing..

chats with tiffy are always so good. we'll discuss abt christian stuff.. yeah. like how life is never like a walk in the park, or a stroll in the beach. but she came up with this really nice thot. life can be a walk in the park and a stroll in the beach. cuz, even in the park, there are humps... stones and all.. you have to get past ringing bicycle bells.. blah. in the beach you have barnicles.. rocks.. stones.. and the sea. people may drown you know. but it is nice to stroll in these places.. like it is vvv nice to live with God..

then we talked about songs. how songs can be so short [like majesty and let it rain] as a few sentences.. but so powerful.. when i listen to more than life... the lyrics never fail to touch me..
wah.. wad if God never invent music. haha...

looked vvv sian yesterday in church.. im just no good at disguising my emotions la. sorry. people are supposed to be encouraged by ushers' smiles.. and yet i was there frowning away.. so sorry. haii. have to improve.

i just keep evt bottled up and in the end, i feel so terrible. i need to let it out.. when, God.. when will be the day when i'll finally cry evt out? i cant now and i duno why..

seems like almost everyone is trying to keep a false front.. sian...

and this conviction tells me tt i shud shut up abit. haii... keep too quiet wait ppl say i anti social.. dun keep quiet ppl say i too talkative. then wad?!

"I seriously think i have a major problem communicating.. every wrong thing i will say.. then i try to just tiam tiam, but tiam tiam also cannot, cos like you not supportive or very dao.. hai.. open mouth also cannot, close mouth also cannot..sian..."

seems tt im having the same prob too.. haii.

sighs... long long post.. i know. going off... needa do hmwk.. oh.. this kind of inspiration is vv rare sia.

"you will overcome and the trails you go through will fall one by one.. as My grace pours over you..

you will seek Me and find Me if you seek me with all of your heart.. not just a part.. when the road that you travel seems like it never will end.. i'll be your friend
in the times when you feel like this world is so far from your home, you're not alone
cuz i'll never depart.. seek Me with all of your heart"

cfni - seek Me and find Me

footprints in the sandd`

2005-03-13T18:32:00.000+08:00

[[footprints in the sand]]
One night a man had a dream. He dreamt he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonged to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happens at the lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. 'Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed You most You would leave me.'

And the Lord replied,' My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you or forsake you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only see one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.'

You have a choice. In those hard times, there will only have one set of footprints. You either choose to walk alone, or allow the Lord to carry you.

[[faithful father]]

father i cant explain this kind of love
this kind of grace
i know i still break Your heart
And yet You run to welcome me

this is my song of praise to You
For who You are and all that You do
from the moment my life began
You have been faithful

Father i love the way You hold me close
And say my name
i know when my life is through
my heart finds its home in You

lalala.

2005-03-13T17:49:00.000+08:00

haha... today we played this game in cg... super lame sia.. [[of cuz, cindy came up with it =p]] anyway its called the pyramid game, with has totally no link to the game. had to make ur team guess the word but u cant mention the word... or ann the phrase.. got this one... really diaox..."cindy's bedroom" -.-"
yeah. was late for ushering [[sorrry!!!]] ushering was a little chaotic today.. so many ppl.. 500++... yeahh... the skit was nice...
after service went to the ad hoc thingy... that jerrold.. duno go where.. then went to macs to join wayne, jacq, jul, tiff, ale and mandy for lunch.
then went to office.. haha.. weixiong ask me why i look so stone... din know wad to say... cuz actually i was feeling kinda depressed. anyway i said i v tired lorr..
and lemme tell you a story

this gurl, she went for cg on a sunday as usual. a particular cg in the sec1 div. she grabbed one of the praise and worship songsheets and looked trough it. there were two songs, one way and tts why we praise him. cg started soon after.. with the worship ldr playing one way. it came to a point when it was very noisy, because there were some noisy lorries downstairs and the next cg was kinda noisy.. but the worship leader asked the people to just concentrate on wad he was saying. he strummed lightly on the guitar and told the people about the parable of the prodigal son. after that, he decided to change the second song to faithful father. the girl was very grateful.. because she needed that song.. it really touched her heart. she come to realise that God is forever faithful.. even when we're faithless.. he is always waiting there for people to turn back to him..

[[faithful father you've been faithful since the day i was born.. and i praise you for what you do and who you are.. you are my God and i love you]]

benny hinn

2005-03-13T08:01:00.000+08:00

the only reason why im here at 7.35am is because i woke up and cindy say she cannot make it for 9am serv. so there. haha.

yesterday night was pretty adventurous.lemme try to describe.

met rach at douby ghaut, 4.15pm.. then took the train to kallang. reached there and looked for a bus tt will transport us to the staduim. [[btw, we're going there for this benny hinn crusade]] so, finally we found a shuttle chartered bus. and off we were to the stadium.
reached there about...5pm.. saw lq, jan, lin and yanda queuing up. kinda caught off guard lol.. yeahh... couldnt cut the queue. sian lor! we went to the back back back.. then hor, it was so warm.. ppl trying to cut the queue... blah. and it started raining. didnt mean to eavesdrop, but i heard this guy saying into the phone.."me ah? oh im queuing in the rain" hahaha... true la!
at about.. 6.30 i think.. they started shifting the ppl.. moving them. wah so scared couldnt get in lor.. then finally got in at 7.30pm.. got a balcony seat. -.-" rang lin up and she say the usher made her give up their reserved seats. -.-"""!!
anyway.. pnw..this song super nice sia.. Your love is beautiful. whees.
yupp! it was a nice service... so cool lor the healings.. and i think God straightened my back.praise God.=) got ppl slain.. the pastor just sort of 'push' the ppl and they fell.. yahh...
actually was kinda v tired.. wasnt really concentrating well. but God is there.
about 11.30pm my phone rang... vibration la. i tot it was my mom so i tried to ignore. but whoever calling didnt give up.. so i took out my phone.. it was lingquan... BIG MISTAKE HERE. i answered the phone la.. and everyone looking at me. siannx... sorrrry! haha... so, he asked me if im planning to go home. i was like "duh!" then he said "do u know wads the time now?" omgoodness. then he say he'll wait for me at the bus stop and ask me to fly over. yeah. so i flew. hahaha... saw jiajun, alvin tay and janissa.. we walked to the mrt cuz we tot no bus liao i think.. they were like scolding me lor.. haha.. yes leaders i will check the dumbo last train when i go out. hurrs. walk walk walk...jump jump jump.. walk one hour..was really trying to walk straight.. super tired sia.. FINALLY reach the mrt... then NO TRAIN except to pasir ris.. so jan, alvin and jiajun took a cab.. cuz they live in tamp. while poor lq and me... we walked half an hour more. to find a dbs atm machine. lame sia.. the first one was out of order.. then look somemore.. finally found one. hee. went to 7-11 buy something to drink. [[him, not me.. and i havent eat for.. i duno how many hours]] okay. found a cab and zoomed home.. mom smsed me.. ask me where i was. told her and blah blah blah.. ahhaa... throughout the whole journey we were arguing... cuz v paiseh if he pay the fare.. yeahh.. and he insisted dun want. =x.

reach home 1.00am++ wah the latest alone.. ahaha... dad wanted to come downstairs to see me up.. then when i reach home.. sianx.. mom started saying...

"you kong bu la..." then i was like "what..?!"
"dad was actually sleeping you know"

grr. then i felt so paiseh. but again, it would be better if my dad din come down. not tt im not appreciative k.
then they were like.. "the service so good meh?" "ask u convince me go you dun want" "dun even know wads the title of the msg.. where this person came from.. wad time end" haiis. tts my parents. always finding chance to suan me... very sick of it.

fell asleep on the sofa after arguing with lq somemore. haa.. didnt had a really nice sleep.. woke up at 7am.. then cindy sms me say she cant go 9am service. -.-" okay la cindy.. its not your fault..

so im just killing my time... alr chged somemore... lalala... i dun want to sleep back.
congratulations to you, you are such a patient person to read until here. haha..

SOS sunday today! wheeeehooos.

~~sometimes i just feel so envious of other families.. but nvm. count thy blessings eh. =(~~

lalalas.

2005-03-11T20:33:00.000+08:00

haha.. today woke up at 1pm++
went back to prisch.. slacked and terroized mt ex teachers like 4h+.
sian sia..
bz hol..

keep thinking what pris told me one day when i was feeling not too good... she told me "dun run on an empty tank"...
yeah im so tired... running without my petrol.. ahh... im weak but he is strong.. i need my strengthh..

then i told lingquan this..

"no lah.. you dun fail.. even if you do, pick up whats left and move on"

i actually said tt and i cant believe it... i myself cant do it.. haiis...

im reallly weak Lord... come and fill me till i overflow.. so weary.. but i find my strength in youu..

Lord i know you must have a reason for herr to l e a v e... we dun want but... thy will be done.. praying that it'll all be your will.. not her will.. not her parent's will.. not our will... amen..

sian.

2005-03-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

lalala... no sheryl didnt vanish into thin air... internet was down. okay.. lemme update!!

[[tuesday]]

went for some dum socliosis follow up. it's NOT NICE AND IM NOT GOING TO PUT BRACES. tt's FINAL. grrr.

[[wednesday]]

decorated classrm until 6.20pm... yahh... quite late eh.. and was freakingly totally pissed by this classmate. dun wnt to eleborate.

[[TODAY]]

40th anniversaryyy! touched up on decos.. then went to j8 with fatin, lilin and cheryl... shopped... and met mainey.. tt gurl.. forget to bring my
tix! yah.. so see her eat her lunchie.. ate her meatballs lol.. and was trying to tie a shoeslace onto my bag... she took it and tie my hair. -.-"""!! okay. shall do tt on sunday. =p
yeah. went back to school... sound checks and blah blah blah... then the ACTUAL PERFORMANCE... the last song..amigoes pare siempre... LOL..the whole choir was trying not to laugh..cuz ms yee made ian swing his arms like as if someone is crazy... hahahahhahaa....i was like shaking... dun laugh dun laugh.. then get off stage everyone laugh like mad ppl.. haha
now my feet are crying.. poor toes were squashed... cuz of my heels.. =x... hahaa...

tmr is holidayyy! yays//

thanks.. joy,wayne, tiffy and shuhuaa.... =) he will never leave nor forsake.. smiles

[[i know your word is true...i live i breathe i long to worship you... ]]

depressed.

2005-03-07T18:02:00.000+08:00

i just dun see the point anymore cuz you see.. life has suddenly been so routine.
can we have some change?!
i think, im having monday blues... every monday oso like tt. sian lor.
yah yah... im depressed... [cindy.. yes i agree now] argh.
how to shake off this feeling. sundays dun feel like sundays anymore... urgh... nehmind.. still love sundays.
what else do we do but to eat.sleep.play.crap.study?
and yah... now i see the point in my cg guys' sharing too... it's actuallly really what happened. our lives are so boring..
hellllllloo... we need a revival somewhere.

the qn remains: where?

[[still croaking -- even worse. yours truly frog princess ^^]]

what is this

2005-03-06T18:20:00.000+08:00

im starting to feel the dryness.
siannz...
just now lead pnw in cg.. tried smth. didnt really work out and i was like shaking.. then this gurl.. duno her name.. directly opp me... and was staring at me... -.-
then what else. went to 9am with cindy..
got saboed to be watchlighter... [-.-]
during cg we had sharing.. after my turn.. after lingquan's turn... started to feel really..down.... i duno how to describe la.. wanted some time alone.. yeah.. so excused myself.. went to the stairs.. 1min later ser came.. then we talked la. talked... then cindy came to tell us cg is almost over... and realised tt i got abit fever.. so prayed for me.. actually she ask why i went out but i duno what to tell her.. so i say... erh.. not feeling well..
speedlight... wanted to kneel but oh well... it's like really as if a thousand eyes staring at me... very not nice.. yeahh... the service was like for praying.. for the SOS outreach next week..
then got adhoc watchlight briefing... attended last year so i could escape.. heh heh.. anyway oso got GM... flew to the shammah room... yeah... briefing on the ushering next week. then we went as a ministry upstairs to pray. with the other leaders... laid hands on the chairs and all.. yahh...

feeling so sian... i want to get rid of this feeling.. it's like just a fake outer shell... the cheerfulness and all.
maybe what lingquan said is right eh.. i'm depressed.. i duno la.. argh..
so numb..
im like overtiring myself.. just work and work.. i dun care alr.. everytime i sit down.. be still and what.. like in cg today.. sit down listen to the sharing.. and all the feelings of weariness.. of tiredness.. of stress and whatnot.. just hit me.. it always happens and i cant take it..
and im trying to 'comfort' others when i cant even manage myself. crap sia.

~~we are going to miss you girll.... but commit all to God yah.. let his will be done... duno what are his plans.. his reasons... but we know they are plans to prosper...~~

miracle service.

2005-03-05T15:02:00.000+08:00

was feeling so down just now.. mood swings again. argh i hate them... sian..
suddenly feel like going to MS... after i listened to the song as we worship you..
duno la.. no one go with me.. cindy is booked up today... tiff got band... blah blah...
hmm.

[[as i come b4 your throne.. i feel your arms surround me now.. amazed by the wonders of the power of your name..i'll give my life to you.. the God of my salvation... and i know i'll never be the same again. jesus reigns..]]

update:
MY VOICE SOUNDS HORRRRRIBLE NOW! oh my goodness... tmr how to lead...
i sound like a frog princess now. bleah.. oh CUZ princess k.. HAHA...
how how how... i try my best ah... lingquan and cindyy please help me.. thanks alot. =x
better take more strepsils. and trust God. cuz his plans are always higher... =)

sianology

2005-03-05T12:18:00.000+08:00

sian... every saturday and sunday morning... i'll sure hear shouting... and it's my mom's shouting.. esp saturday morns.. it sucks lorr... saturday is the only day i can sleep in and there they are shouting away... can they please be a bit more consideratE?
sunday morn right... mom will give me tt not really happy face... so i always hurry wash up and get out of the house.. really sian to be like tt..
mom just shouted at gram.. hope gram will take it abit lightly... cuz she has this tendency to think about things for a long time... think too much.. yeahh...

yesterday 40th ann rehearsal... got my gown like 10min b4 the performance... and my zip stucked... and wadever... the 6 of us were like running to the washroom... run to the perofrming arts room... run to the hall... finally got there just in time.. and after tt, the main conductress.. whom i never seen b4.. scolded us like mad... said tt it was the most horrible performance she never heard of.. like argh. two choir teachers whom just seen the sec1s just scolded and scolded. pract ended at 7.30++ i was damn hungry... then chg wadever.. the stairs so dark! haha... dad came to fetch me cuz no food at home.. reached home at 10+... then sis got on my nerves again...

see what i mean about being considerate.

there i go again... being judgemental.. manx i must stop this.
going to study today.. this time... no one coming. good. i need to study history and science... tests coming.
oh.. my march hols schedule..

sunday -- sos outreach!
monday -- study day.... do assignments and wadever
tuesday -- study day yes... but not so much study. heh..
wednesday -- dnt makeup lesson... and one humility orchard road shoppin!
thursday -- maineyyys concert
friday -- planetshakers!
saturday -- i duno..
sunday -- LEW! wheees..

yeah... tried to keep mon and tues free from anything.. needa rest sia..

shoutouts!

2005-03-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

hehh... shoutout time!

tiffy;
heyyyys my complaining budddddy! hahahaha.... as you realise the journey ahead is not easy... but with God all things are possible yah? =)) presss on... and shout hallelujah! there's only ONE special tiffy wong... smiles!

cindy;
know tt you girl wont read this but i dun care kays... you are my super cgl... hehe... rock on... and may God bless your cg ministry...touch the hearts of ppl! thankks so muchh.. =D

maineyyy;
heyys.... jiayou kay. yes and amen you're going to get tt erh... 4 points(?) for your Ns... glorify God in it and get into rjc... study hard smart and must rmb dun let it overtake God... smileyys! and ohhh.... i'll be there for your concert yah!

alena;
nana! hehh... some more crazy nights at my house eh? ;) anyways.... yupp... thank thanks.. your encouragement.... just being there..and being crazy with me.... we enjoyed the planning of the ushers outing yah? =) smileeeeys... dun get sad... yes.. can be tired... but renew your strength.. and you can soar like eagle... and jiayou!

dion;
helllllo guy... i still rmb the day when i first led how you encouraged me.. thanks so much kays... tho you move liao.... but we're still one united body of christ... yupp... hahaha.... i oso dun think you'll read this... but oh well.. keep your passion and fire for God going strong... God bless!

allllllllllyy;
sotttonng... hahahaa... yayaya.. thank thanks thanks... for being there... just to tell me tt God will be always there.. and same for you yah.... continue seeking him for right directions... yup!

wayne;
surprised right... hahaha... rmb 1800-wayne? tho i've like.. dun call tt number liao... but yes you are still so lame... maybe lamer... like me.. hahahaha... yeahh.. continue serving God with all thy heart... =)

lingquan;
yes i know you oso wont read this... but... like cindy i just wna say a big thank you..=) the path ahead full of broken glass eh... but God is faithful and will not tempt you to more than what you can bear... smiless... dun look so anti social.. hahahah... and yahh... God bless~

shuhua;
auntie hua hua... =p hahaha.. yupp.. here's your bubbly sheryl back to normal.. no.. even crazier... come back soon kayys... miss you like doughnuts... miss your swt smile... jiayou for your Os! =))

wow i'm so on fire now....

[[shout halllllelujah! giving praise to you my God who reignns... =D ]]

wow?!

2005-03-03T20:42:00.000+08:00

wahhhh..... i found out today tt my classmate attends lighthouse woodlands... LOL.... and someone from CF too... wahh... all the ppl in lighthouse from my sch go LEW... leave me in LET.. nvm.. both oso same. anyway.... i slipped through the school gates at the 11th hour.. its like i woke up at 7.04am!! then was like shaking my dad to wake up.... rushing about and blahh.. almost din make it.. then got headache and sore throat..couldnt concentrate in the chi test... i think i'm gna fail lo... the sore throat esp was killing me... and it's still killing me. wadtheheck. yupp.. after sch went to CF and bible study... bible study about temptation... 1cor 10:13. yup. arhhh... the sore throat... so bu4 zhun3... tmr got choir 40th ann preview... then gotta lead on sunday... cant it choose a better time..... =x

yayyy

2005-03-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

dotx!

2005-03-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

mannnzz... this is so doty.. some of the songs i'm looking for are right here b4 my eyes... diaoz!
hahaha... and i'm looking all over the place..
anywayy.... i'm going for my curved spine checkup next week.. hope i dun have choir pract.. cuz i've a feeling they'll double up next week... 40TH ANN! tmr taking gown, friday letting parents and the guest of honor preview... and next thursday is the day... eeeekkks... aiyohh.. why arh.. i've gone upstage like countless times i still nervous.. bleah
and i tell you. i hate curved spine checkups. it's horrible.. haiis... maybe have to put brace... nonono.. reject reject reject in jesus namee... i DUN WANT TO PUT THE BRACE! it'll be so uncomfortable.. so hot and wadever. crap... dun wantt..

okay. i will not wear it. heh.

[[the day when people will fall down to their knees and cry in worship is so near.. ard the corner.. Lord help us to be ready for it. amenn... ]]

thunder..

2005-03-02T18:13:00.000+08:00

i was like woken up by the stupid thunder at 5am... wah seldom this happens lo... it was like as if a million tonnes of metal crash down... frighten me sia.
yah... heavy rain! gram went to close the windows and off the fan. -.-" why off the fan la?! hahaa.. so WARM lorr... somemore i under blanket.. hahah...
then right... woke up at 615am... still raining. duno whether got swimming lesson.. then call jingyi... hahaha... it was like we were debating if we should go straight to sch... wear uniform... or go to the stadium in pe attire... i said tt i wear sch U go sch la.. then she say "wait they scold you 'why you no common sense how?!'" haha... then i replied... "common sense?! HAH.... i will tell them you then no common sense arhs! what if we run on the track then fall down? what if the thunder scare ppl? what if the lightning strike ppl?!" hahaha... i was laming la.. fancy me laming in the morning..
then my father tell me to call the school. i tell you arh.. if i find out who's this office worker i'll ask mrs tan to sack him.

-dials school number-
Me: hello... good morning.. i call to ask about the sec 1 swimming lesson...
office worker: sec1 swimming? you are asking ME? how would i know?
me: it's raining so i want to know if it's still on..
OW: who am i to know? no one will tell me! okay... you dun assume if raining then no lesson. kays?!
me: okay. THANK you..

please lo. attitude sia.. yes i am a student.. but he must respect me oso what.. what the.

HAHA.. i was like late lo.. cuz all the calling and what... set off late.. anyway i blended in. heh heh..
the swimming was like.. my fren struggling right in front of me... deep pool mah and she scared... i wanted to help her.. but too far away.. and the instructer like dive in alr.. haha..

yeah.

---------

i repeat this kays. i have enough of you. understand?! i know you wont read this but i dun care. you cry at the slightest thing.. you really.. as jeanne put it... bu4 zhi1 fu2.. you are so blessed alr you know... ppl are going so much worse stuff than you... like the tsunami and the africa ppl... if you can cry because of that, i tell you i should have cried 10 bathtubs of water. please lo.. appreciate la.. this is YOUR proj.. if you dun want to stay back.. dun want to draw.. dun want to contribuite... i dun care k... anyway you still get the marks WE earned for... please dun seek attn with the class and the class charmiar lahh.... abit cry cry... as i said you really bu4 zhi1 fu2

so i'm sorry if i;m being judgemental.. need to get this out.. i have enough.. and enough means enough.

[[i cant care.. dun want to care.. and dont care anymore..]]

one humility..

2005-03-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

hais. i wonder...

where is our class unity... has it vanished?

we're getting clique-ish... and ppl are disliking... hating one another..
we're supposed to be the most united class sia...

one humility... rock on yah... ^^

when we get to sec3 and you'll realise tt you miss this class.. trust me..

______

cant wait till the march hols.. need some time for my sch work.. myself and most impt, God...

even more cant wait for june hols.. speedlight camp! whooootx..

quote: Don't be sad... Take pride in wat u do n always love n thank God!

[[the journey is never easy but with God all things are possible..]]

impulsiveness

2005-03-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

was talking to some1 yest and i kinda regret.
how can he ever understand.. these type of things you will never know until you experience.
oh well. nth i can do now... impulsiveness only leads to regret.

was quite encouraged by my principal today.. after the 40th ann rehearsal.. she said "you may be tired physically... but keep your spirit strong and soaring" am thankful for her... she always gives pep talks..

yeah. choir pract was pretty slack.. muahahas... i escaped from wearing the gown. yes you read right. GOWN. i tell you.. if anyone see me in tt gown you'll laugh your heads off. bleah. yah... so i escaped cuz the auntie made a error... -.-" the sleaves are different. yup.

sian... now cannot put books under the table liao.. die lor... everyday so heavy. wad the heck..

what else.. oh yah... bumped into xinyi on the bus... heh... she was going from from her malay class.. wow lorr.... take up 3rd lang. i think 9 subs are enough for me. hahaha..

feeling a little better after ally spoke to me yest... seems tt wad happened on sunday and plus my stupid mood swings are pulling me down.. i reject and reject kays... mr s.a.tan you have to get lost...

oh yah... thanks alot to tiffy and ally.. =)

2005-02-28T20:51:00.000+08:00

todayy.... woke up with the super sian feeling... not a good start. was down the whole four periods b4 recess... but thank God for frens. they brighten up my day.
went to jeanne's house to make bday cards for jingyi... happy bday auntie... nyahahaha... ;)
walked as fast as i could from the busstop to home.. scared mom will scold.. it's lk i reach home at 7pm. nvm.. wadever time i reach home she oso give me the dark face..anyway i forgot she today got swordlight. -.-"
got cramp lorr... from walking so fast.
talking about tt... tmr sian la. full dress rehearsal... have to bring bag, art stuff and choir shoes. eeks.

fire burns best upon dry wood. revival will come upon those who are dry to the point of desperation. it is during this intense drought that the temptation to be lukewarm is the greatest.
______________

i remember...

we used to escape from MS... from her...
go to the church swing...
you would push me so high tt i scream..
and we would climb the railing or wadever you call tt...
our so called secret place...
try to hide from the adults coming down from the stairs...
and then we would jump down.. sit on the swing again..
talk about life...about school... about God...
i miss it..
our r/s has become so distant.
we're so arkward ard each other.
why has it become like tt...

i know you'll never read this.
but... as i recall.. it brings a smile...
brother i pray..
that somehow... as we look back...
we'll revive this r/s again.
what a mistake we made..
and it ended this way.

as we go on we remember all the times we have together..

destruction with words.

2005-02-27T21:06:00.000+08:00

i know no one can see the title for this post. so i shall type it again.

destruction with words.

i think God is trying to tell me to be more careful with my words... so many times its like telling me tt.
like why does she need to say tt in front of *****.*.... after MONTHS and finally getting the rumors to a rest.. now it's starting again and worst, it's circulating among the leaders. why why why. ******.* was smart enough to guess what she's saying la. wL... i'm frustrated sia. stupid leh. after months of avoiding each other...after drifting apart... i lost this good r/s [lost as in we're not so close anymore] just to get rid of the rumors. is that going to happen again? and now.. the rumors are worse worse worse. it's completely ridiculous and not true. please la... dun hai4 me can. ='( i just hope this doesnt get out of hand... Lord please hear my cry... i get the message... please control... into your hands i commit.

_______

today woke up at 7.15am... met cindy at the bus stop and went for 9am service tog.. the sermon was good... about speaking in tongues. i think i'm gg to have the habit of going to 9am... =)
cellgroup.. talked about temptation... 1cor 10:13 i think.. it's a comforting verse... he will not test u to more than wad you can bear... and talked about the crucifixation of christ... why it was the worst form of punishment.. yeah... it's totally scary... my hair was like standing... and it's cruel.. but ultimately it's us who put him on the cross... also talked about the holy spirit... yup.
speedlight... took attendance with ale... hehe.. she's my attendance partner.. hahaa...
then... pract for pnw.
lunch.
laming ard in the office and in the end got like [look up]
wad a nice sunday. nvm. i still love sundays.

study?

2005-02-26T19:14:00.000+08:00

argh. talk about studying. bleah!
i only finished like less than half of math and 0.00 of history.
cuz vivien came over; she needed to escape.
=x

and. i've come to realise tt we need to be VERY CAREFUL with our words. you'll never know when ur words hurt someone. shoot off some words and you can feel bad for a long time. dun have anything good to say, dun say. a word can chg someone's life.

wondering.

2005-02-26T13:24:00.000+08:00

wondering why.

people come to me for help when i sometimes can be so insensitive. yet i'll try to help them...
it seems tt i'm so fearful of stepping on some1's toes.. it leaves that...'guilty mood' and presses on my heart. help can sometimes be hurtful. in my case it's like 1/4 came out to be hurting.

maybe it's not my fault. nvm. i'll just try my best.

___________

haha...yesterday night was so fun. exchanged songs with allllly. found his strength is perfect. YAY!
anyway, i reached home at 3.30pm. which is considered so early. hahahas..

going to LEW on 20th march. just to visit... see the ppl i miss. ushers, manasseh 2004 and all the ppl. yays.

nice layout eh? hehe.. i spent the whole night fixing it. hehe.. cept i altered the pic...=p

yeaps. off to study in half and hour. need to catch up on my history. and math.

CF

2005-02-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

well.
today's pnw for CF was kinda horrible.
i decided the songs on the spot. pract on the spot. evt on the spot.

hand signals got mixed up.
songs got mixed up.

BUT

nvm! cuz there's always next time... can improve.=D

crushed.

2005-02-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

lalala. today is wednesday. and guess what.. i think i'm learning alot from chapel service. and guess what again. i was supposed to sing for chapel today but when the person looked for me yest my class said tt i'm not in. -_-!! hecccckk... MUST BE THE GUYS! so i didnt sing. bleah. leading worship for CF tmr... i think it's kinda rushed. after pnw have to fly to the hall for choir. chapel msg was very nice today. what else. tmr got two tests. chi and dnt. >.<

i'm hungry. i'm tired.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
But sometimes I wonder what he can do for me
No great success to show
No glory of my own
yet in my weakness he is there to let me know

(chorus)
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in his power the weak becomes strong
His strength is perfect
His strenght is perfect

We can only know that power that he holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes
His strength will begin
When ours comes to an end
He hears our humble cry and proves again

the deadly cycle.

2005-02-21T17:32:00.000+08:00

my life seems to be like a deadly cycle.
my faith seems to be distant.

everyday::

sleep at 11+, wake up at 6.30am, not enough sleep, cant concentrate in class, not in the mood for studying, dun study for tests, pass borderlinely, CCA, go home, get scolded/ sarcastic remarks and blah, use comp, do hmwk, never do qt, never do 8to820 (sorrry lq --and sorry God) cuz not in the mood, feel not good, go sleep.

and it repeats.

why am i not in the mood for everything?!!!!?!?!?!!? not even in the mood to talk to Him.
feel like crap manx. arghhhh. ='((

everyone seems to be going through sth bad now... wad the heck. whyyyyyyyy....

and Mrs Uan talked to us about something today. 11 years ago there was a massive killing of a clan in africa, and the clan being killed ran to a city called Cogo (i think) 1 million ppl died.. and those who ran... the women ARE (notice the tense?) gang raped everyday. no one helps them.the husbands abandon them... no support, have to tc children... and it's not widely known.
it's still happening NOW. it's so sad isnt it. the millitants do not have a heart at all. perhaps it's better if they end their life, but they have children. they may have the enemy's children too. they never aborted them... cuz the children are innocent.

oh... how i pray that they'll see God's light of hope.. they dun even know God i think.... my heart really go out to them.
how blessed are we... in singapore we seem to take things for granted. including me. many a times we forget there are many people out there going through worse things.

2005-02-21T16:49:00.001+08:00

after this final pic my battery went dead.